S: Letter to Self

Inspired by an episode of How I Met Your Mother (sorry, can't find the clip online, but it was a good one), I wrote my future self a letter with all the reasons why I absolutely do not want to get back together with Guy. I thought this would be a good exercise, and it did help a little.

Then I thought it would be a good idea to post it. That way I would be more likely to hold myself to it, should the need to make a choice arise.

But I don't have the heart to do it. I can't post all the negative things that should make me not want to be with him. Why? Because I still love him. And even if those things were true, and not just angry, bitter over-dramatizations of reality, they aren't deterrents. Because I love him over, through and past them. Every one of the reasons ends with a silent, "But I love him."

Suck.

This is the difference between us right now. He does not feel the same way about me. If he did, a silent "But I love her" would have followed all of his reasons for breaking up with me last Thursday night. It was not there. Which is reason numero uno on my list.

Super suck.