S: Working for the Weekend

Currently, I am very much looking forward to a weekend of Guy. We have no plans, except to spend as much quality time together as possible. Not working...not entertaining other people...just us...enjoying each other.

Which we will need because he is out of town next weekend and if last weekend is any indication, this is not something I am looking forward to. My weekend just lacks life without him in it. I have nothing to get excited about. Nobody to share things with. No super hot boyfriend to show off or come home to.

But not this weekend, this weekend it is all Guy...all the time. I am all about him. In fact, it's the middle of the afternoon on Friday and all I can think about is how soon we will be able to get together. I can't focus on getting any writing done. And I sure don't give a rodent's patoot about getting home for another workout. I just want to be somewhere with him. Anywhere. Doing anything.

I know I say this all the time, but this part is so much fun. The we-can't-get-enough-of-each-other part. The think-about-each-other-constantly part. The we-didn't-get-to-see-each-other-last-night-so-we-miss-each-other-terribly-today part. The drive-downtown-just-to-stop-by-his-office-for-a-few-minutes part. The part during which I almost always have a smile on my face and no matter what is going on in my world, just the mere thought of him sends the clouds away.

Let's hope there's a way to make this part last for a very very very long time. It seems to be very good for me.

And now, let's stop and ponder the fact that in a couple of weeks, I will be flying to the coast with him for a weekend of sun and fun and bonding with him and his son. This is uncharted territory for me. But I absolutely can't wait.

Just checked the clock. Still a couple more hours before I can even begin to think he'll be done with work. Drat! I want to go kidnap him right now.

3...2...1...Weekend!

J: April...CHECK!

My first self-initiated date was a total success!

Mr. April and I got along stunningly. He was very understanding when I was half an hour later than expected due to the drive all the way across town…in the rain…in rush hour traffic. We had great witty pre and post-movie banter. We laughed at all the same spots in the movie and never ran out of things to talk about (but not during the movie…what do you think we are? Savages?)

There are other things to tell you about the date as well…things like the way the whole “who-pays-when-the-girl-asks-out-the-guy-situation” worked out.

…and I wanted to share myinitial concern that he might not have realized that this was an DATE. (But he did...realize it was more than a friendly movie with a friend, that is...)

…and the fact that sometimes, talking to him was like looking in a mirror. We just have so very much in common…not just in our backgrounds but also in our reactions and personalities and even in some of our mannerisms. Spooky! (No wonder our mutual friend kept pushing for us to go out!)

…and I also want to discuss with you the fact that he got to the theater via bus & I had to drive him home…since he doesn’t have a car…or a ton of ambition, apparently.

…and still, I want to tell you that I’m thrilled that he asked to see me again! Next weekend. And I’ll be truly disappointed if he doesn’t actually call me and make it happen.

Despite the fact that I have so much to tell you, I just can’t. Not tonight. I have an important 8am meeting tomorrow and really have to be fresh and on the top of my game. So alas, all my thoughts will just have to circle around inside my head and keep me awake instead of spilling out for your benefit.

I will, however, take just a couple more minutes to report back that my hair was actually reasonably well behaved, despite my fears and the best efforts of the rain to destroy it.

Altogether an entirely successful April date!

E: Mr. April and Dates #2 & #3

I've been remiss in not communicating with you the details of my Mr. April date, and the 2 other dates since (not counting my ultimate). Yes, it's been a busy month.

The gentleman who got the title of Mr. April was actually one of the first guys on Match who ever winked at me. I've been on Match for a little over 2 months now, so needless to say, this guy moves slow. Or he must have had a lot of other dates going on. Anyway, he winked and we started emailing almost immediately, but not very often. A week or two would go by in between, but it was no big deal. I was getting so much Match action at the beginning that I had to start a little pink book to keep track of the boys! He finally asked me out, and I accepted. However, I didn't hold out much hope for this date, as he only called me once before, and for only 10 minutes. Why is it that some guys prefer to communicate almost exclusively by text? I find that annoying. If a guy doesn't take a little time to get to know you over the phone before you meet, in my experience the dates haven't amounted to much.

Nevertheless, who am I to turn down a Mr. April fulfillment date? He lives an hour away and wanted to pick a halfway point. So we chose a town, and low and behold ended up at the very same restaurant where me and faded navy shirt guy had our third and final date. Funny. Now that I'm dating so much, I do find myself at some of the same restaurants over and over again, and most of the time I'm wearing my "first date attire," with a new guy every time, so if there are any observant wait staff I'm sure they are snickering behind my back. Oh, there she is again, poor soul. Will she have sangria tonight, or change it up a bit and go for the margarita? (on the rocks, no salt, of course)

Mr. April was an interesting guy, works for the military. (Ah, another man in uniform!) He had some good stories, and we had fun and casual conversation for a long time. All in all, I didn't really feel any sparks, but I would have gone out with him again if he asked. He did text me the day after to tell me how much fun he had, and how he is looking forward to doing it again soon. But much like his vanishing acts early on, he seemed to do that again. Which was ok with me. Who knows, maybe he only reaches out every couple of weeks - maybe that's just the way he rolls.

The second in the April line up was a super cute, witty and sarcastic boy from a neighboring town. He was so much fun to banter with over text. I could already tell he was not my type of relationship material, nevertheless, when he suggested we go grab a drink sometime, I jumped at the chance. He was just so funny and I like that in a guy. He drove an hour to see me. We met at a restaurant and enjoyed some drinks and appetizers, and some more drinks. And then another one. By the end of the night, he was worried about driving back home, and wondered if he could crash on my couch. Wow - this goes against ANY online dating rule there ever was! I mean, aren't there girls out there who do this sort of thing, wake up and they've been robbed or worse, and when the public hears their story they are mortified that they were stupid enough to bring a blind date back to their house. Well, I know I will get flack for this, but I let him stay. I really didn't want him driving home. Plus he was adorable and a heck of a lot of fun to kiss. I tell you this only because I came into another "aha" moment regarding this. He stayed over and I let him sleep in my bed, but did not sleep with him. Did not sleep at all!! My gosh, the guy had some sort of breathing problem or something. He would snore, then kind of snort around, and toss and turn and I was just laying there wondering why all of these years I have missed having a guy in my bed! He also took my dog's side of the bed, so my dog had to sleep at my feet, which left me very uncomfortable. I lay there thinking this was going to be a long night, when he made a comment about how he can't sleep in any bed other than his own. So I suggested he may want to go home then so he wouldn't be tired tomorrow? Ahhh, he agreed and I was finally able to get some zzzz's. Lesson Learned: Don't lament over not having a guy in your bed. Sometimes that is just fine.

The third and final date I had in April was the next night. Thank goodness I was able to get some sleep, or I would have been a zombie for this boy. And let me tell you that I'm glad I wasn't. This was the guy I was most looking forward to meeting, after seeing his profile and the numerous emails and phone conversations we had prior to the date. I could tell he was deep down a really good guy, looking for a really great girl, and we had a lot in common. And wow, we had a fabulous date! I find that it's always a good sign on a date when you sit down at a restaurant and the dude is reluctant to look at the menu right away, and suggests we start with an appetizer. That means he already knows he likes you, you've passed his first impression test. Needless to say, we were at the restaurant over 2 hours (poor waiter who wanted to turn the table). And that was just our first stop. From there we went to a local pub (one of my favorites) and another establishment after that. And then it took us over an hour to say goodbye in the parking lot (another really, really good sign that the date went well.) He asked me on a second date right away, which we are going on this Saturday night. We have talked on the phone every night since our first date, and I even met him out for a quick bite to eat last night. I really like this guy, and I can tell you that I haven't felt like this in a VERY long time. Something's clicking with us, and it has caught me a little off guard. In a very pleasant way. Stay tuned...I have a feeling this story isn't over!

J: Attack of the fro!

I straightened my hair this morning because I want to look cute for Mr. April tonight…and also in the hopes that the super cute weather man on my favorite channel was exaggerating—or at a minimum, just wishfully thinking (as is often the case in this rain-starved land) when he joyfully announced a 20% chance of precipitation.

As the day has gone on, the sky has gotten darker & darker and my (supposed to be straight) hair has gotten frizzier and frizzier. Now weather.com is saying there’s a 65% chance of rain right at the time when Mr. April and I are supposed to meet.

(Why, oh why didn’t I go with the curls?)

It’s sounding like: best case=I get sprinkled on, worst case=drenched. That’s fine. I actually (usually) like rain.

Here's how I'm imagining tonight will go:

We meet up and go into the theater…maybe get a bit drippy on the way…no biggie.

But then…that’s when the 'magic' happens. Over the next two hours, as the hair dries,unbeknownst to me it takes on a life of its own…growing and expanding out of control. (The darkness of the theater mixed with a bit of moisture, marinated in a room filled with the warmth of so many people crowded into one space=the ideal environment for rampant hair poof.)

And then…

Annnnd then…

The lights come on and eeeeeeeeeeek!!! People spot the monstrosity that has sprouted from my head and everyone stampedes from the theater.

And my date? My date turns to me to ask how I like the movie. His eyes get big, his mouth drops open and at first he stares but then intentionally avoids looking in my head region while he quickly makes excuses about how he really has plans & needs to get home and feed his fish/wash his (bald) head/inventory his pantry. He is never heard from again.

Sigh.

S: Too Soon to Vacay?

I am officially going on vacation with Guy. Well...for a weekend anyway. The ticket has been purchased and I will definitely be joining him for part of his coastal vacation.

In just a few weeks.

Let's all cross our fingers for no disasters.

And for me not looking too awful in a bathing suit.

J: He Said Yes!

After much stressing and obsessing, here's the email I sent to the guy I selected as my potential Mr. April:

Hey fellow movie buff…

It’s been awhile…hope that life has been treating you well lately!

Soo...I was thinking that I wanted to catch [a non chick-flick movie] before it left the theaters. Heard it was pretty decent. Looks like there’s a couple of shows left at the [favorite movie theater] on [street on his side of town] next week so I was thinking about trying to make either the Tuesday or Thursday 7:30 show.

I think you mentioned that’s your “local” theater…and I still wanted to try that [dish he was raving about in our previous email communication] before the summer temps make it completely and entirely unthinkable. Plus, I would really appreciate having someone to blame when an order of those gooey, warm [dish I was raving about in our previous email communication] magically disappears. ;) Whaddaya say? Interested in joining me?


Oh my gosh…sending that email about killed me. It was SO hard. And I took the total chicken way out. I sent it via email. Through facebook.

My hands were shaking when I hit the send button. My heart was racing. My knees were knocking together. It was so incredibly scary.

I’m soooo glad that I don’t have to do that on a normal basis. Sometimes (not always…but sometimes) it’s actually nice to be the girl.

And THEN, I about went crazy waiting for a response.

Of course, with my brilliant timing, I sent the message right as I walked out the door to head for my church’s Women’s Retreat out in a beautiful (but remote) part of the state. A part where there is limited cell reception...at best! Naturally.

I wanted, I needed, I had to check my facebook inbox for a message every 2 minutes. AND I COULDN’T! I’m lucky I didn’t end up a slobbering, drooling, shaking idiot by the end of the weekend.

But, the minute we got back to civilization, I checked my facebook and guess what (if you read the title of this blog, this won’t come as a big surprise)…HE SAID YES!!!

I have an April date!

A date that I ASKED OUT MYSELF!!!

Taa daaaaaa…..

S: Flying Solo

What a strange weekend this has been so far.

Guy has been out of town. He had to head to his homeland for a family gathering. I was invited to come, but am feeling like it may be too soon for me to spend a weekend staying at his parents' house with him and his son. Although, considering how much I have missed him over the last 2 days, I'm not sure I'll be able to take another single gal weekend in a couple of weeks when he has to go back for yet another family affair. I may have to reconsider my discomfort with foisting myself upon his family.

Because of my aversion to this Guy-less world, currently, I am at his house doing laundry, working out on his elliptical, showering in his shower and using his soap. Alone. Like a modern day Goldilocks. It feels odd and comfortable all at the same time.

And now it smells odd, because I very badly burned a bag of popcorn. Clearly his microwave works WAY better than mine. And lots of TV channels can distract one from listening for the frequency of pops. Right up until the point at which the kitchen is filled with smoke and the microwave looks like something from firefighter practice.

Oops. Rookie mistake.

He's gonna love me for this.

And probably take away my garage door remote.

Oh, did I not tell you that? He gave me a remote for his garage. I can now come and go as I please. Even while he's out of town and I need to use his washer and dryer because mine are out of commission and I feel like making things stink like nasty, burned popcorn. I'm sure the neighbors are WTFing all over the place, but that's the fun part.

Anyway, I missed him a lot last night. I actually got out of the house and hung out with friends but spent most of the night preparing myself for the disappointment of just going home and not going to stay with him. I did get a decent amount of sleep and felt great this morning, though.

Then a day of yard work, which gave me plenty of time to think about him and miss him. Especially since he was busy and I barely heard from him all day. That made it 10 times worse.

And then I couldn't stand it and I had to pack up my stuff and head to his place. Only, it's not the same without him. Without even the prospect of him. Now I miss him more. And have to resist the urge to crawl into the bed and just stay there until he gets back.

But it'll still smell like burnt popcorn and I really don't want to be around for that.

Suffice it to say, something has changed for me. Before Guy, a weekend on my own would have been quite welcome. Now it just reminds me of how I fill my life with busy-ness that doesn't make me happy or fulfill me and distracts me from the people and things that do. And it is a brief glimpse of life without him...which I thought I was accustomed to and could totally do. But it's obvious to me that now that I've had life with him, I am wholly unprepared to have life without him.

I'd like to avoid that, if at all possible. But I wonder sometimes. I owe you a post about our religion conversation. I'm flip-flopping on this, but my fear is that we've found our one big deal breaker. The hurdle we may not be able to jump, no matter how hard we run at it or how deftly we try to go around it. It's there and it must be dealt with.

For the time being, I count down the hours until we get together. After having not seen each other for a mere 2 days. 2...DAYS. This is not a long time. People who are dating go for much longer without seeing each other.

Oy.

I don't know what I'm going to do when he's gone for a week on vacation in May. But my guess is you'll hear about me on the news.