S: Mr. February Earns a Name

Well, Dateketeers, it’s official, I have gone rogue. I am completely off the Date Club Challenge radar and am going against all my spinsterly beliefs.

You will now be witness to me jumping in with Mr. Saint Eligible Bachelor February feet first and not looking back. Oh, this is going to get messy. But what a fun ride it will be. And totally worth the jarring halt at the end.

He really floats my boat. Rings my bell. Bags my groceries. And irons my shirts. (Actually, he literally did that…see? I’m not lying. He’s fantastic.)

First things first…

After spending much time together over the last few weeks and realizing we have an undeniable connection and need to be with each other for as long as we can stand it, EB and I have embarked on whatever one would call a “we aren’t seeing other people” journey.

We’re both careful with each other and gun shy, so I’m not sure we are using the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.” Yet. But really, when I tell people about him, he’s my fabulous new SUPER HOT boyfriend. So it seems as though I am comfortable with the use of the word in reference to him. Which is new for me. And completely unexpected, to say the least.

But it makes total sense because DAY-YUM is he the most amazing thing ever.

Ooops…digressed. And daydreamed a little bit for a moment.

Back to you and my point…

I steeled myself for the worst the other night and brought up the small matter of the Challenge and this blog (yes, a clear violation of Date Club Rule #1). He was not the least bit disturbed by any of it. I had feared that he would feel somehow played or set up, but he didn’t see it that way at all. Truth be told, he was interested in me when we met, so I didn’t have to pursue him or work an angle to get a date. We met, we clicked, it was sanctioned. Who cares?

Hurdle 1, cleared. Now for Hurdle 2.

I made it clear to him that while I did not want to continue to see other people (because it’s not like I’m going to find someone better), I did want to continue to write about my experience with him as part of the story of the Challenge as a whole. What I needed from him was his permission to write about what is essentially 50% his personal life.

And wouldn’t you know it, Mr. Incredible Edible Bachelor was perfectly and enthusiastically fine with it. He even followed up his agreement by saying that he wouldn’t read it so I would be free to write whatever I wanted without feeling like he was going to see it and take issue. I assured him that, at this point, he’s looking pretty good to the world. To which he replied that he would have to try harder to mess up and give me stuff to write about.

See what I mean with the cuteness?

On some level, I think he was just so relieved that I wasn’t asking him to let me keep dating, he didn’t care what I wanted beyond that. But he seems to like idea of what we’re doing and he constantly encourages me to remain myself, so supportive he will be.

Melt.

And so, his generous agreement means initiating him into the outer circle of the Date Club. Since he will be a regular subject of my posts AND he is no longer on the market, Eligible Bachelor has earned the right to a code name. But, being in the outer circle, he will not get to know the identities of the other Date Club members or even where to find the blog.

Without further adieu, please allow me to introduce you to Guy.

Guy is so worth denying my spinsterhood for a while. He’s caring and thoughtful. He’s a great listener. He doesn’t judge. He’s attentive to my needs. He’s a great father. He’s fun. He thinks I’m funny. He thinks I’m hot. He’s sensitive. He’s mature. He’s secure. He’s ripped. And he digs me way more than anyone should.

Mainly, he makes me happy. And I seem to be returning the favor, from what he says. So we’re going to keep trying to do that for each other for as long as possible. (Which is hopefully at least until this summer because he promised to take me to see Jimmy Buffet.)

Ok, I’ll stop gushing…eventually...but for now, I’m going to enjoy the glow of what I’ve stumbled on completely by accident. It’s like I walked through a date wardrobe and found relationship Narnia. And I’m hoping it’s a very long time before the shine wears off. I can see some of our challenges down the road, like our busy schedules, our control issues and the big one: religion, but right now we are learning how to deal with each other so we can handle what comes at us when the time is right.

And, up to this point, I like the way he deals with me. He makes me talk when normally I would just keep things in. He calls me on my stuff and doesn’t get defensive when I call him on his. Our discussions are constructive and never get accusatory or mean. And then we laugh. A lot. He doesn’t want to change me, which is good because I don’t want to change him either. So far it’s just click click click click click. We work.

Me likey.

Oh Date of the Month Club Challenge, look what you have done to me. I am this close to conversion. I am almost a believer.

Will the real Sheila please stand up?

E: Mr. March is on the calendar

Here I sit, already 9 days into March, and have not had one date yet. In the wake of February's men, one might assume I have lost my mojo. Quite the contrary - I was just taking a much needed break. Also, my allergies have been acting up, and it is just not sexy to produce snot on a date. If, however, there is a little raspiness left in my voice, that would be acceptable, even maybe a little seductive? :)

So I just got off the phone with what will be my Mr. March. It was a great 1 1/2 hour phone conversation, by the way! He has a good sense of humor and is quick-witted, one of the qualities I adore in a man. Also, remember that I like to get to know someone over the phone a little before going on a date. (Case in point - February Fellow #3). This is a blind date - a set up, from one of my friends whom I just reconnected with at a baby shower. You know those events.... "Oh hi, I haven't seen you in, like, forever. Oh really, you're still single?? Well, I have a neighbor whose brother just moved back into town..." Ok then, giddyup.

So my friend's neighbors' brother called me tonight and we will be going out this Saturday night! I'm thrilled that he will have the title of Mr. March. Given what has recently happened to Sheila, I have begun to believe in this quest and realize that one of my "Mr. Months" could be really special! Of all of the guys I've corresponded with lately, he is the one who most piques my interest. So it would be cool if we do hit if off, that I could refer to him as Mr. March (like Sheila still gushes about Mr. February), instead of calling him Fellow #5 or Suitor #8 (like Jane's poor dude). These men who hold the Mr. titles don't know how special they are. There can only be one of them per month. The others will simply be referred to in a lesser fashion. Just sharing my observations...

Anyway, there is another guy from Match.com who wants to know when I'm free this weekend for, and I quote, "a drink/dinner/walk (okay anything)". That's kind of cute. Maybe I will be free for all 3, mister Fellow #2.

J: Dinner with Mr. March

Exactly a month after my speed dating experience, I finally got my 2nd date with Suitor #4. Luckily for me, it just happens to fall within a new month which means that and luckily for him, he now gets the official title of Mr. March!

We met for dinner at a little hole in the wall Italian spot. The hostess sat us at what might be the very most awkward first date table possible. It was one of those “C” shaped tables. He got the short section and I got the middle super long one and was left with the awkward “how-close-do-I-sit” decision. What will it say if I sit too close? What does it say if I sat too far away? What the heck is too close? I made my best guess and settled in.

It turned out that we had a lot to talk about. He’d done the speed dating thing several times and had lots of great stories about his other experiences. We both work for large companies and so there was a great discussion about our separate corporate cultures. And we talked about his recent surgery, which was fascinating to me. We basically never really ran out of stuff to talk about. There was never an awkward silence, never a moment of “oh crap….what can we talk about next”. Nice...very nice and oh so refreshing…especially considering that our dinner ended up lasting for two and a half hours!

A girlfriend of mine asked me about the date the next day: Exactly how old is he? How long has he been divorced? How long has he lived in that fancy neighborhood? What’s his custody arrangement for his kids? Does he dance? Is he looking for a serious relationship? Etc, etc, etc. I couldn’t answer a single one of her questions…we just didn’t go any of those places in our discussions. And in my opinion, that’s perfectly acceptable for a first date.

All in all, I really had a good time. I sensed a bit of a spark and that’s more than I’ve felt for any of my other dates recently. I’m really curious to see if anything else will come of it.

As we were walking to our cars, he said “I had a really great time, we should do this again” and I said “Yes, let’s do!”

And this time, I meant it.