J: Two dates in 24 hours?

I’m actually glad that I made the decision to put off my desperately needed sleep to wait for Mr. Maybe January (The Second)’s call. Despite all the nasty coughing that he had to endure, he STILL asked me out! Big brownie points for the boy. We officially have a date for lunch on Monday. (Guess I should remove the “Maybe” from his name, huh?)

The next day I told the friend who set us up that we have a date on the books. She added the juicy tidbit that (in her opinion) he’s “above average good looking.” Yum. That is some good news, right there!

The thing that actually got me blogging today: Mr. Maybe January (The First) just texted me, asking if I wanted to catch a late lunch/early dinner tomorrow. He acknowledged that it was a very last minute request…and…ummm…I think that I’m actually gonna do it.

I have to keep reminding myself that it’s not as though there are only 12 single guys in this southern city of mine. If I go out with TWO this month, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ll struggle to find someone next month…right?

So, I guess it’s a late lunch/early dinner thing tomorrow with Mr. Maybe January (The First) and early lunch on Monday with Mr. Maybe January (The Second), less than 24 hours later? Hmmm….should be interesting…

At least "the First" and "the Second" January boys asked for dates in the right order…otherwise, this all could have gotten realllly confusing.

S: It's On Now or Playing for the Celtics

Cheer loudly for me, Dateketeers…I have my first Date of the Month Club date all set and ready to go.

Truth be told, I had this one set up just a few days into the New Year. I’m thinking, “Man, I’m rocking this already!” Except, of course, I have no idea what I’m doing. No, seriously. Clue-to-the-less. In fact, I had to ask the other girls if this actually counted as a date.

You read that correctly… I don’t even know what a date is! It’s gonna be a long year, I can tell that already.

Anyway, it’s all set up. Too late to turn back now. But that's ok. We’re just going to grab a drink. Cool, casual, happy hour. No biggee. I’m fine. Really. I can totally handle this. It’s like I’m Larry Bird and dating is my Garden. Slaaaam dunk. (Oooh hey…Larry Bird…Crap. It’s too bad Larry Bird isn’t available. Damn the luck.)

Riiiight. To begin with, I’m already a little nervous about this. Mainly because I met this guy about a year and a half ago when we were at the same group lunch with a random mix of mutual acquaintances and I recall not being interested in him at the time. And even now, I do not actually find myself much interested. Not that he doesn’t seem like a datable guy. It’s just that our minimal, digital communiqués have lacked luster and have not led me to desire further conversation other than out of a sense of curiosity.

But, that’s the point of the challenge, right? To go out with people I wouldn’t have maybe gone out with in the past. To see what happens. Even if it’s nothing.

Ok, but then who pays? (Yes, I’m that date-tarded.) I mean, he suggested the get-together, but I’m not sure if he was thinking “date.” Do I let him pay even though I don’t think I’m interested in this going beyond the grabbed drink? Is that wrong? Do I suggest we discuss it on the offset or would that seem pushy and uptight? Do I just wait and see what happens, even if that causes an uncomfortable moment or two and ends up with me seeming to be some kind of drink moocher? Or do I jump the gun and get my guilders out right away making it clear that I sympathize with the Dutch people, even if that makes me seem aggressive and assertive?

I just don’t know.

Anyhow, for the sake of getting on with it, let’s say we successfully navigate past the “who pays” booby trap. What next? (Besides ordering the drinks, which I happen to be quite adept at.) I may have met him before, but I don’t know this guy but at all. What if we have nothing to talk about? What if we disagree on everything and it just gets really weird? What if I get all awkward and talky and continuously put my foot in my mouth? What if I’m still not interested, but he asks for another date? What if he wants to extend the date beyond the drink, but I don’t want to?

So many questions I should not be asking at my age.

And this is why I am doing the challenge. This is not complicated stuff. I just need to get more comfortable with these situations. I need to get better at socializing like a grown person. And, to be brutally honest, I need to get better at rejecting people.

I don’t know how to refuse a date without getting all stuttery and awkward and stupid, and making it a way bigger deal than it really is. I need to figure how not to just keep hanging out with someone because they’ve asked me to and I can’t find the gumption to let them know my level of interest may not quite equal theirs.

That gets me in trouble. And it is not the spinster way.

So, let’s practice…

Mr. January: Well, I had fun. I didn’t even mind that you demanded that I pay as soon as we walked in the door, AND made me sign that notarized affidavit promising as much. It was quite endearing really. Would you like to do this again sometime?

Moi: Well…uhhh…uhhh…ahem…Sure. Love to! I’ll mark you down here on the 10^th of Never. Right after my tongue piercing appointment. (gulp) You're the best ever. Maybe we can get hitched.

(end scene)

No? Not good. Eh. What the hell. At least there will be drinks. And maybe Larry Bird will show up.

Wish me luck!

J: Cough…hack…cough…cough…

I feel like poo.

I’m all congested and can’t breathe. My ribs, my lungs, and all my muscles are aching from the force of this relentless coughing.

If it weren’t enough that I feel awful, I also SOUND awful. I have the nastiest hack ever. Very unladylike. Very obnoxious. If you don’t believe me just ask anyone who works in the same building as I do, or anyone who's had the pleasure of talking with me on the phone for more than 2 minutes.

After coughing and hacking for the last 3 WEEKS (yes, this has been going on since CHRISTMAS) and after one too many sleepless nights I finally went to the doctor annnnd guess what. Big surprise: bronchitis.

I need to sleep. I want to sleep. I crave sleep. I was prescribed mass quantities of good drugs to help me sleep. Nothing in the world would make me as happy right now as a good 10 hours of uninterrupted time in dreamland.

“So, what’s the problem Jane,” you ask. “Go to bed, already! Who cares that it’s only 7pm. You live alone, you don’t have to worry about being judged for being a total loser who goes to bed before 10. In fact, going to bed at 7 makes the other household occupant (the pup) think that you’re about the coolest person ever.”

True. All true. But…see, here’s the dilemma: I agreed to this Date of the Month challenge. And on Tuesday I agreed to an “introduction” phone call with Mr. Maybe January (The Second) who suggested 8:30 or 9 so that he could get his child to bed. Sigh…

So, do I txt Mr. Maybe January (The Second) asking to put off the call until a later date and have him possibly think that I’m blowing him off…all for a couple hours of sleep? How lame!

Yet those 2 hours…glorious hours that could be spent in codeine-cough-medicine-induced-dreams… those hours call to me.

The boy or the sleep? The challenge or the relief from this obnoxious, exhausting hacking?

Sigh…against my better judgement, I think that it’s gonna be the boy. Really…do I have any other choice? Why else would I be writing this post? Not to mention that it’s the middle of January! I’m running out of month!

Hopefully he’s not chatty.

J: Mr. Maybe January(s)

I mentioned in my “The start” post, that I unofficially started this experiment before I was able to fully rope Sheila & Elle into the madness. I only actually went out with a November & a December before the “official” challenge began. Both were interesting (but not earth shattering) dates. They also were both blind dates that married friends sent my way. Now, here I am in January and as luck would have it I actually have two more potential blind dates, each of whom might (if they play their cards right) be the official “January.”

Please understand…none of these dates are due to my amazing man-catching abilities. If nothing else, the last two months have taught me that if you even hint to a married friend that you are open to blind dates, invariably, they will know of the “perfect guy for you” that they’ve been dying to introduce. Turns out, EVERY married couple has a single guy friend who is “sooooo sweet” and “suuuuuch a greeeeat guy."

There is actually a drug that they put in the wedding cake frosting that gives married couples an unquenchable desire to make sure all living creatures within a 500mile radius are enjoying (or pretending to enjoy) the same matched up bliss that they, themselves are (or remember) experiencing. I know this is true…I once had a wedding cake of my own!

But...isn't a blind date (gasp) cheating??

Granted, it might seem a bit easier to go on a blind date than to try catching those boys myself. As I'm warming up to the challenge, it’s nice to not have to chase the boys yet. It’s REALLY nice to let my friends be the ones to talk them into going out with me. :) But, when you think of all the “will he see me and pretend that he’s not here to meet me” angst that accompanies blind dates, they really should count DOUBLE!

It comes down to the fact that when all’s said and done, I’m still gaining valuable experiences and getting practice at dating. This whole challenge is about meeting new people…right? It’s about putting myself out there…right? It’s about keeping an open mind…right? I would venture to say that blind dating provides ample opportunity to stretch all of those boundaries. So, in my book…blind dates totally count!

So, here’s my “January(s)” situation: One of my (married) friends gave Mr. Maybe January (The First) my contact info, back in…um November? He didn’t actually call until the weekend before New Year’s Eve when I had company that had just arrived in town. I asked him to call me during the first week of January…and when I hadn’t heard anything by Saturday, the 9th, I txted him…scared that he might have thought I was blowing him off earlier. (Totally reasonable, right?) We went back and forth via text and then suddenly, nothing more from him. I freaked out a bit. Didn’t he know I was on a deadline? (NO, of course he didn’t!) Was he going to get back in touch in time again? (Tick, tock, tick tock!)

In the midst of my Maybe-January worry, a different (married) friend called with news of another potential blind date. Of course, I told her to have him contact me. Surprise of all surprises…he actually did! So, Mr. Maybe January (The Second) and I arranged an “introduction” phone call for later in the week. My guess is he wanted to make sure I wasn’t crazy before committing to an actual date. (Hopefully I’ll pass the “introduction” test…we’ll see if I can keep my “crazy” in check…)

The very next day, Mr. Maybe January (The First) arrived back on to the playing field, with another brilliant text. Of course.

Needless to say, I am feeling some of the “January date” pressure lifting. If I blow both of these opportunities, I fully deserved to have my club membership card ripped into a million pieces.

Now the scheming side of me is wondering…is there any chance I could put off Mr. Maybe January (The First) long enough to turn him into Mr. February?

Hmmm…

E: The Truth About Elle

I am a thirty-something single gal livin' it up in a sunny coastal town. I rent a condo with mango-colored walls, drive a sporty car, travel to faraway places, and can spot a Coach knock-off from across the room. I'm independent, self-sufficient, and know how to change a tire (just call AAA). I am one of the fortunate people who actually likes getting up for a job that challenges me and allows me to give back to the community. I enjoy going out on the town, and can hold my own in a room full of strangers. I have oh-my-gosh-you'll-never-believe-this-really-happened-to-me stories out the wazoo. And in some ways I'm the envy of a lot of my married friends (at least that's what they tell me on facebook)!

However, there is a discontentment behind my signature smile. I don't think many can see it - I hide it well. In fact, I venture to say that most of my co-workers think I am an overly-happy person, well content with my life of singleness. So not true! The truth is, more than anything I want to find that special someone - I don't even require the 2.5 kids or the white picket fence - just the man! And I know this because I had him once before...

Rewind nine years, back to that horrific day when I got the news that my husband of nearly 5 years had passed away in a sudden accident. I mean here today, kissed goodbye honey, and then never came back home. It left me with an empty house and the pain of unrealized dreams. Grief rocked me to the core, but I am proud to say that I emerged on the other side of it stronger and with a deeper appreciation for life and everyone in it. And so it began, the process of reinventing myself as a single person...yikes!

So, I did what most people seem to do after a significant life event - pick up and relocate to the coast! First item on the agenda was to learn how to date again - I didn't know the rules and I was horrible at it. Naive (what do you mean they don't call when they say they're going to?), clumsy (how the hell do you club dance?), and just plain ignorant (why did the guy I met while driving on the interstate stand me up on our second date?). I fumbled my way through for a couple years and then an episode of Oprah changed my life. She introduced the revolutionary Greg Behrendt, and his book "He's Just Not That Into You." Finally, armed with the mack daddy of dating books, I was able to figure out the dating patterns of men and save myself a lot of guesswork. I also learned that I was a superfox, and worthy of being treated as such. ;)

Which brings me to today, and why I'm in this challenge. I know what I want. I know how to date (and club dance, salsa and two-step, thank you very much), and I've done my fair share of it. I've blind dated and e-harmonized. But aside from one serious relationship since my move to the coast, it has been hard for me to find someone I really click with. Dating is a numbers game and I suck at math! I have to admit I've spent many a Saturday night at my sister's house playing firetruck with my nephew. And while my nephew is King, this does nothing to further my chances of meeting a handsome eligible fireman (or doctor, banker, etc.) I need to get in the game, and this challenge forces me to keep putting myself out there. There is no plethora of single men where I live (think, beach & sunshine = geriatric), so I'll have to really make an effort to meet new people! Will I find a love connection? Maybe. Will I have fun? You betcha.

Thanks, Jane, for twisting my arm - I'm so up for this challenge. And I'm pretty sure I'll have some oh-my-gosh-you'll-never-believe-this-really-happened-to-me stories to add to my collection!

S: Sheila's Story...and she's stickin' to it

As a bit of an introduction, here’s a little blah blah blah so you know who I am and can maybe get an idea of why I let Jane rope me into the Date of the Month Club challenge. Then, when you figure it out, if you could just let me know, that would be great.

I‘m a 30(mumble mumble)year-old Midwesterner who is decidedly single. I have never been married and I fully embrace my spinsterhood. Clearly evidenced by my small cat collection (which I refuse to allow to get any bigger, at this point...no crazy cat lady here).

I’ve never really dated much. Some would say that’s because I think I’m so much better than everyone else, but those people are just jealous. Really it’s because I was dorky and awkward in high school and way more interested in learning and being a nerd, so not surprisingly, I didn't get a lot of dates. No lie...I didn’t even kiss a guy until I was 17.

When I went to college, I retained my interest in learning and being a nerd, but I met my match about halfway through in spite of it. At that point, I thought that was going to be it. Until it wasn’t. And then I didn’t want anything to be it. Until something was. For a long time. But then that wasn’t. And even the next thing wasn’t, and I knew that right away. He was just too much fun to let go of without playing around for a while.

There just wasn't a lot of opportunity for dating in all of that with someone/not with someone stuff. That and I'm not the kind of girl who guys ask out. I'm buddy...a pal...a partner in crime. I'm not a date. I never have been.

Despite not being girlfriend material I have managed to be in love and subsequently busted up into pieces. As it turns out, even when you are in love with someone and think you will always be in love with them, they can pull the plug and leave you wondering if everything you thought and felt was even real at all. So, if you’re me (and I am), you are very careful not to let those feelings get the best of you again. Up goes the wall. And really, it’s quite cozy behind the wall. And cats can get in, so why not just stay?

But maybe there’s something more. Maybe there’s something I’m missing out on. Maybe I don’t have to trample on the next guy because I lack the ability to actually get attached. So, part of this exercise is me daring myself to have feelings. Maybe by making myself get out and share experiences with people, I could start removing bricks from the wall. Perhaps it’s 1989 in the East Berlin of my heart.

That being said, in my old age and ultimate Gen X cynicism, I have come to the pragmatic conclusion that it is wrong to assume that there is someone for everyone and each person finds that someone eventually. We don’t all end up married. We don’t all end up with some star-crossed soul mate. We don’t all have the inalienable right to “...love, honor and cherish, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” That’s just the simple reality of it. And I believe that I am one of those people who is not likely to travel in the carpool lane on the highway of life. Which is ok, because I like surviving in the wild on my own. Mainly because I’m not good at sharing food.

The question remains, why accept the challenge? I’m not looking for a man to fulfill my every hope and dream. I’m not even looking for a man to help me fill out the Sunday crossword puzzle. So why do this at all? Why commit to going out with 12 new people when I’m not even looking for 1 new person? Do I enjoy futility? Do I think the men in the Midwest enjoy futility?

No, I’m not interested in finding a mate, but I don’t want to deny myself experiences by sitting at home alone just because I’m not actually shopping around for the next Mr. DateClubSheila. I suppose I am doing the challenge to see what happens. I like random adventures and this seems like a fun one with the added benefit of meeting new people and maybe finding some interesting new places in my fair city. There are so many fantastic people here and every time I find myself amongst a new group of friends, I wonder how I lived here without knowing them. Maybe I can find a few more.

AND, this just came to me in a flash of genius, another benefit of this little challenge will be meeting guys to hook up with my other single friends. Who cares if I don’t want to get all relationshippy with them? Maybe my girlfriends do. I could date my way to Yenta-hood. I’ll be the tester. Like an application developer, I’ll test them out before releasing them to my market. Think of all the wedding cake I’ll get to eat!

And for my final reason, the other aspect of this whole relationship process that I find exceedingly difficult to deal with is the rejecting of other people. I have a very hard time saying “no.” (Not like that, dirty mind.) I just know there must be a way to be a kind and gentle person while still letting someone know you do not see a future before everyone gets in way too deep or broken to bits. I just haven’t discovered what that way is. But I need to discover it quickly before I waste any other sweet guys’ time. There are too many in my wake as it is…and only because I have a hard time being honest with myself, and with them.

That’s my story. And like this rogue bit of toilet paper from the coffee shop bathroom on my shoe, I’m sticking to it. I don’t have huge expectations for the challenge. I mean, I don’t think I’ll find love. Which would be a relief. I don’t want to find love. Even without psychoanalysis, we all know my fear is finding someone I really fall for, only to have him not feel the same way, sending me back to the stone mason for more heart wall bricks. Hey, maybe the stone mason will go out with me.

I do think I will end up meeting 12 new guys and going on 12 o.k. dates and having 12 somewhat similar conversations. Perhaps a few of them will become friends, but I foresee shaking a lot of hands and saying “It was nice to meet you. Take care.”

That is if I can even find 12 guys who will go out with me. Who knows what will happen if I have an incredibly difficult time finding dates every month and have to go to desperate lengths to keep myself in the game? Other than me losing 10 bucks every month for a year. Surely I can find 12 guys who would go out with me at least once, right? (Surely...Shirley?...Anyone?) Oh no. I’m going to be Jr. High Sheila again, aren’t I? Just put the braces on me now and pass the Cool Ranch Doritos.

When it comes down to it, I think I will have a year like I’ve never had before and will find myself doing things and taking risks that I may not have had the cajones to do or take in the past. My supreme wish is to have fun and interesting experiences. I want to be able to tell the story of this for years. And I can’t tell stories if I’m at home stacking bricks and playing Conasta with the cats instead of out making my path in the world. Because telling stories is pointless when you never do anything interesting, yes?

Feel free to watch while I go out and do something interesting.

J: The start of it all...

This story begins in the fancy bread isle of a friendly neighborhood grocery store. There I am…33 years old, divorced 6 years and still not in a real relationship…or even with the possibility of a relationship in sight. Up walks a cute red-headed guy…nice and tall, dressed as though he was stopping by the store on his way home from work, no ring. I glanced over at him again and noticed he was glancing at me. There was a moment of eye contact and a shared grin and I then I quickly grabbed my loaf of fancy bread and RAN AWAY! Seriously…I ran. I had a few more things I had to pick up so I couldn’t actually flee the store but when I saw Mr. Cute Red Hair in the meat isle, I swerved to pick up cheese. When I saw him in the tomato isle, I realized that I had an urgent need to get a new box of cheerios…etc. It wasn’t until after I had walked out of the store that I realized what I had done. I had just had a moment of connection with someone….someone CUTE…and I had avoided any further contact. Why? WHY?

The next night at dinner with one of my (married) friends, we dissected the encounter. Since my divorce, I’ve had a few relationships. A couple of the relationships were semi-serious and a couple were nothing more than an evening or two out, but that was about it. I honestly haven’t really ‘dated’ that much ever in my life. I met my ex-husband in college around age 19 and spent the majority of my 20’s in a miserable marriage. So…finding myself divorced at 27, I had to figure out the rules of the game all over again. Plus, at that point I had quite a bit of healing that I still needed to do before I could hope to be healthy enough to trust my heart to anyone new. Add to this my mother’s preaching (since I was 16) that you should “never date someone you wouldn’t marry”. That eliminates quite a few guys who could have been dates but never turned into more than friends since “I would never be able to handle being married to someone who did/said/thought that. “

Back at dinner with my friend…I realized that the reason I had run away from Mr. Cute Red Hair was because I was scared of what he would say and what I would say back. I didn’t know how to dance this dance. A stranger has never bought me a drink in a bar before and I’ve never even had a cute boy ask for my phone number. My friend’s response to all of this was “What better time to learn & who better to practice on than the cute red haired boy in the fancy bread aisle. If you mess up, WHO CARES, you’ll probably never see him again.” [Bing] A lightbulb went on. Yeah! Of course! The question now was: how do I get there? Her brilliant plan ---and her challenge to me was to go out with one new guy per month for an ENTIRE YEAR! (Eek!) There was NO way that I’d commit to that! If my track record of the past 6 years was any indication, there was NO way that I could get that many dates, …was there?

I tossed and turned and thought about the idea all that night and found myself getting more and more excited. To be successful at this challenge I would have to adopt a completely different way of looking at all of those single boys out there. I would have to change the way that I interacted with men and the way that I looked at the world around me. I would have to change my expectations. I would have to be willing to go waaaaay outside of my comfort zone. And most of all, I would have to just lighten up about the whole process: one date does not mean you should start figuring out names for your children.

Ultimately…what did I have to lose? An hour or so per month, if the date was a dud? A bit of pride if I was rejected? That’s not so costly if it meant maybe (just maybe) finally meeting that elusive “one”. But, realistically, even if Mr. Wonderful didn’t show up I was still guaranteed to a.) get some good stories out of the experience, b.) learn a lot about myself, c.) figure out this dating thing finally (really…what are you supposed to do if a boy buys you a drink?) and c.) hopefully have a lot of fun throughout the process. Mmm….what’s that I feel stirring deep inside? Is it…could it be… HOPE ?

The next morning, bright and early, I called my friend…first of all to complain about my sleepless night, but mainly to tell her that I was IN! I would accept her challenge! We decided that the challenge would start the very next month. (Eek!) And, lo and behold, on the first of the month, like magic, I got a call from my first date…one that my friend had kindly rounded up for me the night before.

All this seemed like such a brilliant plan that I really had no choice but to pull my brave, daring, beautiful, single, outgoing friends, Elle & Sheila into the challenge. It took a little bit of arm twisting but here we all are.

Who knows what will happen this year. A year can seem so long, when you’re looking at it lying ahead of you, clean and new. But years have a sneaky way of flying by when you’re looking back. When I think about it, honestly, it freaks me out a bit. 12 is a big number! I have such a hard time dealing with confrontation. This challenge, by its very nature, means rejections…TWELVE OF THEM! Either they will be mutual rejections (please God!), the boy rejecting me or (worst of all, in my book) me having to reject HIM! Yuck. There’s nothing about any of that that seems the least bit appealing. So, knowing that, why even sign up?

For me, (darn it, I feel so anti-feminist for even admitting this) ultimately, I really would love to find the “love of my life”, my “soul mate” my “Mr. Right”, my “life partner”, my “knight in shining armor”—whatever ooey, gooey phrase you want to use. My divorce left me cynical enough that I have a hard time believing all this “happily ever after” crap actually exists. However, the little girl in me who used to wear pink princess dresses and play “wedding” desperately wants to be proven wrong. I think that we all long for happiness and when I dig past the cynicism and look into the depths of my heart, I must admit that I DO still hope for that perfect marriage and the house with the white picket fence. I DO want those 2.7 kids and the dog and the minivan. (Okay, maybe not the minivan.) But really, right now, it’s about time for a little bit of fun. I’m all healed up from my divorce, ready to step out into the unknown and looking forward to meeting new people that I might not have ever given a chance in the past. I’m ready to break out of my shell and learn how to approach the ones that catch my eye. I’m ready to learn how to flirt my little heart out. I’m ready to meet vice presidents and sous chefs and jocks and nerds and weirdos and players and nice guys and rich boys and waiters and hotties and cute red headed guys with sweet smiles who buy fancy bread and anyone else that this experience flings at me. I’m ready to have plans on Friday AND Saturday night. And I’m ready for someone to finally buy me a drink in a bar, darn it!

So….whadaya say? Want to join me on my journey?

Date of the Month Club Official Rules

The challenge is simple. Chosen members ante up and then promise to go on one date with someone new every month for an entire year. The question is…do we have the guts to get out there and meet people?

The Basics

1. The first rule of Date Club is to never talk about Date Club. Ok, there may be circumstances in which it is permissible to talk about Date Club, but we’ll cross that bridge when Oprah calls. Otherwise, zippy the lippies.

2. Date Club members must remain anonymous. None of us wants the world to know just how pathetic we are. We’d rather not be laughed at in public after we spill cappuccino on our Chinos while out with lucky Mr. March.

3. Members must go on one date with someone new every month for a year.

4. For the purposes of this challenge (and because, technically, it’s actually a year so no brain cells were harmed in the making of this rule) this “year” will be defined as beginning January 1, 2010 and ending December 31, 2010.

5. Members may solicit dates by any means necessary (yes, even Sadie Hawkins style), except for by telling them about Date Club, paying them off or clubbing a baby seal.

6. A date with someone the member already knows can only qualify as an official Date Club date if the known person asked the member out and not vice versa. And as long as they aren’t somehow directly related or go by the name of Roman Polanski. Because…ick.

7. There are no limitations on what type of activity counts as a “date.” But we shall endeavor to be proper ladies.

8. To qualify as a “date,” the activity must be one-on-one. Group gatherings do not count as Date Club sanctioned dates. Being at a Lakers game at the same time as Jake Gyllenhal does not count as a date with Mr. Gyllenhal. (Trust me, I tried.)

9. However, a date with someone a member meets in a group can qualify, as long as there is a separate activity and time arranged. So, if Jake introduces himself and asks one of us out…it better be me.

10. A date must be at least 30 minutes long. Because, really, everyone deserves at least a half an hour to make an impression. Besides, as the saying goes, “once you’ve sprung for valet, you might as well stay.”

11. A date qualifies as a Date Club sanctioned date no matter who pays. But somebody SHOULD pay. Dining and dashing, while thrifty, is stealing and is not condoned by the Date Club.

12. Members can go on second dates with qualifying dates, but only the first date counts as a Date Club sanctioned date. Subsequent dates only qualify as fun. This is about making oneself available to meet new people, not latching onto the first lucky sucker who buys one a lager.

13. Banking dates is not allowed. Going on 3 dates in February, while ambitious and enjoyable, does not count as quota fulfillment for March and April. New months require new dates. Those boys won’t go bad in a few weeks. Keep them on ice.

14. Date Club members are hot and worthy of choosing who they spend time with. No member is obligated to accept a date they do not want to accept. Members are encouraged to step outside of the their dating boxes, but only if it seems like fun. Or Jake Gyllenhal.

15. Date Club members must post to the blog at least once a week so we can live vicariously through them. And/or see that we are not the only goobers out there who aren’t quite doing this right.

16. Date Club members cannot drop out of the challenge for any man (even Mr. Gyllenhal) unless he asks first to be exclusive. And as long as it is made clear to him what fun times and amazing club sisters he is asking the member to abandon.

17. Date of the Month Club members must wholly enjoy themselves and embrace their freedom to go out and get to know eligible bachelors without being required to tie themselves down to the first hunk they meet. Unless, of course, it’s Jake Gyllenhal.

The Stakes

1. Members will each put a $50 ante into the “pot” in order to join the challenge.

2. If a member is unsuccessful in securing a date in any given month, she must throw $10 into the pot. And then make sure the guys in her general vicinity haven’t all completely lost their minds.

3. Shares of the pot will be divided amongst qualifying club members when the challenge is complete at the end of the year. Club members receive one share of the pot for each month they are in the challenge.

4. If a member drops out of the challenge for any reason, especially if she decides to tie herself down to one fella (ahem…Jake), she forfeits her ante and any shares of the pot when it is divided at the end of the challenge.

5. A member can buy back into the pot for $10 if, for example, her new love turns out to be a bed wetter or an ending-of-the-movie ruiner. Members who buy back in will get one share of the pot for each month they were in the challenge.

6. Members agree that money isn’t worth fighting over. But boys are.