S: There's Only One Problem

Currently, my nose is home to the world's biggest zit. It's awful. My nose is actually swollen because of it.

The damn thing was issued its own zipcode by the Post Office this afternoon.

I have to buy an extra ticket for it at the movies.

I can now enjoy tea for two by myself.

And tomorrow I must meet Mr. September looking like something that belongs in a Tim Burton film.

What's a girl to do?!

Is it o.k. to cancel due to facial disfiguration?

No. It's not. It's ridiculous and vain.

One must look these things square in the eyes. Er...nose.

So I warned him. I actually told Mr. September I wouldn't be alone. That I had been growing a congenital twin that resembled a zit and had named it Xena the Warrior Zit. Then I mentioned I had tried to kill her, but she was a fighter and now I'm wearing a bandaid. And my nose is still swollen.

Why try to hide it? It's the elephant in the room...well, at least it's the size of the elephant in the room. Talk about it and move on.

His response was that he is sure I am still "fetching." How cute is that? He lies. Very sweet. If I find that he's staring at my nose too much, I'll just show him my boobs.

Kidding! They aren't that distracting...not being any bigger than the zit and all.

Oh well. At least Xena and I managed to get a date for September. How do ya' like them apples? Or rather, how do ya' them zits the size of apples?

I just hope he doesn't like her more than he likes me.

S: Mr. September

You will never believe it, but I actually did it. I got a date for September!

And I didn't even want one.

I'm still pretty hurt from the whole Guy thing and he and I are still on kind of a roller coaster, so I was just starting to feel like I didn't want to open myself up to anyone, even just a little. I'm in no condition to date. I know who I want to be with.

Enter cute artist type from OkCupid. The ONLY fellow of any interest I have run across there as of yet.

I discovered his profile early on and sent him a cute, flirty, witty, casual message. I found some hidden references in his profile description and used them in my message to show I totally smelled what he was stepping in.

And it worked. He responded. And he remained non-stupid and non-creepy and non-perverted and non-clingy in subsequent exchanges. His messages make me giggle, so I keep responding. Of course, it helps that, at least in his photo, he looks super cute in a hat.

This weekend there will be another sporting event that Guy and I would have attended together. Again, something I had been looking forward to ever since he tricked me into making future plans last spring. So, I did some legwork and made some plans to tailgate at this sporting event and maybe get a ticket with a buddy of mine. Good hang time with him AND no sitting at home wishing and hoping. And beer.

The deal is that Mr. September does not live in my fair city, but rather in a small town not too far away. And it just so happens that this small town is where the aforementioned sporting event will be taking place. "Convenient," she says slyly while tapping the tips of her fingers together.

So I just happened to mention in a message to Mr. September a couple of days ago that I would be in his town on Saturday. Hoping he would now smell what *I* was stepping in and suggest a meeting. It's just so much more fun to get the guys to ask you out while making them think it was totally their idea. You have to be a little creative, but it's a fun game.

Anyway, it took a couple of messages, but the other night, he finally suggested that we meet if I was going to be in his neck of the woods.

I will fully admit that when I read his message, I freaked out a little. Here he was doing exactly as I intended and suggesting a meet up so I can get in my September date, and I didn't want to accept.

I didn't want to go.

I was frozen. I didn't know what to do. Going out with someone else means giving up on Guy. I don't want someone else to ask me out, I want Guy to ask me out. If I date someone else, it means I've lost all hope for Guy and am destroying any chance I have with him.

HEY SHEILA...SNAP OUT OF IT!

Dude, it's over. There is no hope. Guy's a dumbass. He has no nads. He's not going to get past that.

MOVE

ON

I will also admit that these are not things I could think until I had a little Facebook chat with our fair Jane who typed GO! about a thousand times. She's such a good pal. I do hope I can get over my crap and let her gush to me over the phone soon. I'm getting there. She's being very patient with me.

Anyway, she was totally right and I knew it. I wrote him back and said his idea was a welcome one, let's make it so.

His response: "Excellent!"

Wow. Very enthusiastic. Perhaps he's more interested than I thought he was.

I was still feeling reticent about the whole thing because I've been missing Guy a lot this week. Giving up still feels wrong, but I have my sanity to regain. I have to get on board with meeting someone new. Even if I have no intention of getting involved.

Which I don't. I know better. I knew better before. I could kick myself for being the fool. No more stupid. Just a few more dates to finish out the year and then back to spinsting.

Anyway, what I've found is that the more we discuss our plans for meeting...the more we try to make it work out even though it's kind of a logistical nightmare...

(To make this work, I had to beg my buddy, who is riding to this other town with me, to find a different way home so I could stay and meet some strange internet guy. He totally understood. You can't beat good friends who get it. And he's one of the best.)

...the more I look forward to it. Over the last day and a half, just the coordinating of the thing has provided a nice build-up and an undercurrent of first date excitement.

Plus, somebody new to use the same old jokes on. Sweet!

So, the plan is that we will meet up after the sporting event at a predetermined street vendor who makes a delicious food that I happen to love and never get to have because I'm never in this particular town. I'm no dummy. Make the date somewhere where at least the food is good so if the company isn't, it isn't a total loss.

I do hope the company is as good as the food. And I have a feeling it will be.

There you go. That's it. Mr. September. He makes me giggle. And thinks I'm funny.

And he's not Guy.

Sheila Barnes...back in the game.

Go get 'em, slugger!

J: Twelfth Date

The other day I had dinner with the married friend who originally helped me dream up this little experiment.

Of course, I was gushing about my fabulous Mr. September. She was very patiently listening, like a very good friend. (Not only can I not get enough of this guy...apparently, I can’t talk about him enough either.)

Annnnd then….she reminded me of the fact that this all started for me, unofficially, with my first date last November.

Annnnd then….she reminded me of the fact that I actually had gone out with TWO guys in February.

Which means…when you do the math…that Mr. September is actually also Mr. Date-Number-Twelve.

[goosebumps]

I set out on this challenge to go on 12 dates in a year. And I did it!

And how great is it that I just happened to find such a completely great twelfth guy?

Was I able to find him because I got so much practice at this dating stuff? Was it because I figured out how to be more comfortable outside of my comfort zone? Was it because all those so-so dates made me truly appreciate the connection that I’m now finding with Mr. September?

Life is sometimes strange.

During dinner, my friend also reminded me that from the beginning she had predicted that I’d probably have to wait for until the very end (and yes…a year ago, she specifically said “September”) before finally finding someone who would be able to steal my heart.

And look at that...she just might have been right.

J: Missing

He’s not in my city. He’s not in my state. He’s not in my part of the country. He’s not even in my time zone!

It’s just been two weeks since our very first phone conversation and he's only been gone 3 days and still, I MISS HIM!

The realist in me says that this idyllic rainbows-and-glitter, constant-goofy-grin, can’t-get-enough-of-each-other, perfect, glorious time in our relationship has to end sometime.

The dreamer in me wants (and hopes) for this wonderful-ness to last forever.

The horn-dog in me just wants him home!

Yes, I know that it’s probably the very best possible thing that I just happened to have a work trip last week and then he just happened to have his work trip this week. It forces us to slow down, afterall. But I gotta say…it SUCKS!

It’s distance. And in a very short time, I’ve learned that I like it better when he’s around.

Thank God for technology. Thank God for email and texting and good cell phone coverage. I can’t imagine the old days when I would have had to wait for a letter to get to me, days later. We've spoken or texted every day and still, I want more.

I have to keep reminding myself that just two short weeks ago, I managed just FINE without even really knowing this guy existed. I was busy, I was happy, and I sure wasn't checking my phone every two minutes.

I have things to do. My calendar is full. Work is bananas. And yet, I keep having flashbacks of last weekend. I keep finding myself off in la-la-land without a paddle.

But I also wonder...how different will things be when we aren't dreading having to deal with forced time apart? What will a 'normal' day, or a 'normal' week look like? Was some of this rushing due to the very fact that we knew that we wouldn't be able to spend time together?

Possibly.

Probably.

Still...it’s been a rollercoaster and I hate these brakes that have been applied just when we started getting rolling.

J: Dear Mr. October: Beat it!

I just kissed Mr. September good morning and goodbye. He’s on the way to the airport right now and will be gone for an entire week.

Yes people, I JUST said goodbye. (And yes, it really is this early in the morning.)

I’ve said it before…I’ll say it again…this guy is amazing!

My return home from my own business trip was delayed due to weather so I didn’t actually make it back into town until around noon on Friday…a day later than expected. When we landed, waiting for me was a text from him, asking if I had made it home safely. I texted back letting him know that the plane had just landed and asking him if he was available for lunch…which he was….so, travel weary and exhausted, I met him for lunch (it was, afterall, on the way home…ish). He had a meeting right after lunch and I had to get home to catch up on my own email and was dying for a nap so while it wasn’t a long lunch, it was still great to see him & good to catch up.

That same night, I had my standing monthly Pinochle plans, but also made plans to meet up with a friend for drinks first. When Mr. September called to see if I was feeling any better after a nap, and with the encouragement of my friend, I invited him to join us.

Yes, that’s right…I subjected him to the first meet-the-friend test! And while their time only overlapped for 15 minutes or so…he passed the test, she passed the test, they both got along splendidly and I considered the second date of the day with my Mr. September a huge success.

We had made tentative plans for Saturday but needed to line up the where & when so he asked me to call him after I was done with my evening-no matter how late. So, happily, I did. And despite the fact that I had been exhausted just 5 minutes earlier…despite the fact that I was hours and hours short on sleep…despite the fact that I had already seen him TWICE that day, I ended up agreeing to meet him for a moonlight walk.

Our conversation on that walk was amazing. We talked about his child and their relationship and his perspective regarding dating as a single father. We talked about our families and our divorces. We talked about own individual faith journeys. We talked about dating in general, and most importantly, we talked about the fact that neither of us really has any desire to date anyone else. (Yippeee!!!)

With our third date of the day being such a success, he somehow was able to talk me into spending the night. (It was amazing, by the way…but that’s another post for another day!)

Our Saturday together was super easy & casual with no firm plans…just chilling out, watching a movie, shopping for a Kindle for his trip, watching him pack, grilling out on his back porch, and lots and lots of snuggling. Around 10pm, when I was starting getting ready to leave (he needed enough sleep to be able to get up at the butt-crack of dawn for today’s early morning flight) he asked me to stay another night…which I did. How could I resist? He was just so dern cute! And I was just so dern tired. And he was going to be gone for a whole week!!!

So…here we are. And, I probably know what you’re thinking. I’m thinking it too. If I were to guess, I would say that he’s thinking it as well: we’re moving this along very very quickly. The running joke of the weekend was: “How long have I known you again?” But neither one of us wants it to stop.

The thing is…we’re just so amazingly compatible. We’re so comfortable. We’ve talked about relationships and religion and politics and pet peeves and careers and families and favorite ice cream. He thinks I’m sexy, just as I am…and somehow, he makes me believe it too. I think he’s absolutely amazing and I love the way his mind works. He’s told me several times that he doesn’t understand why I’m still single. I feel the exact same way about him.

I am so so happy I gave in and finally joined an online dating site and I am so so happy that he was the one to find me in the middle of all of that craziness. How did I get this lucky?

And, in the midst of all of our other conversation thoroughout the weekend, I also told him about this dating experiment. His response was to ask me not to find a Mr. October. :)

We haven’t talked about November or December. And that’s okay. I don’t want to go there yet. As much as we’ve rushed the beginning, I don’t want to start projecting into the future and end up with broken dreams. I figure, a month is entirely reasonable (and hopefully safe) amount of “look-forward” time.

So, for right now, this very minute, I just want this week to fly by. I need to have him back within kissing range.