I have pretty much decided that I'm not going to chase after a Mr. October. This dating thing is just way too hard still. All it does is remind me that I'm not with the person I want to be with. This fact is easy to ignore when I'm focused on other aspects of my life, but as soon as I have to think about dating, it's all back in the front of my mind.
BUT, if a Mr. October just happened to fall in my lap...woohoo! Wouldn't that be good times? Mr. October right there in my lap. Especially if it happened to be the hunk of love I am now exchanging messages with online.
His first message to me arrived with no profile information and no pic. The message was flattering, but generic and requested I email him and he'd send a photo if I was interested. Feeling a bit on the snarky side that evening, I sent him a snappy little message back explaining that I was curious because he did not seem to exist and I was pretty sure he was just trying to get my email address so he could sell me discount pharmaceuticals and toner cartridges. I told him I was covered in the pharma and toner department but if he could convince me he was real, we could see what might happen.
I figured I wouldn't hear back from him. My sassypants usually keep out the riffraff.
He bit. He responded that he did exist but that he was shy about putting a bunch of information online. He told me a little more about himself and said some more complimentary things about me. More specific compliments. Including about my hair.
And we all know what a sucker I am if a person likes my hair.
Before I had a chance to compose a reply, I received another message from him saying he was filling out his profile so I would believe he existed. Which just made him seem more cute. Like he was actually trying to earn my interest and not just looking for an easy target.
O.k., at this point, I will admit that he does fit the profile of the online player my male friend warned me about. Seems sort of shy and awkward, but is really just faking it as a way of being smooth. But what do I care? I just need someone to ask me to go get a coffee. I'm not going home with him. He can be a player if he wants to be. Doesn't matter to me. If he's playing, he'll get bored with me quickly anyway.
I checked out what he had done to make me believe in him. The newly added photos helped pique my interest. (Somebody works out.) And his profile seemed fine enough. He does a good job of making himself sound like a good guy, while not seeming to be trying too hard. He also seems like a very busy guy. He's got kids and I get the impression they spend most of their time with him, so he's not free a lot in the evenings or on the weekends. This is certainly fine with me as I don't really feel like getting involved with anyone at this point. I need a date, not a mate.
So he's cute. He thinks I'm pretty. He likes my hair. He can put up with my attitude. And he pretends to be surprised that I'm even communicating with him at all. Sounds like a perfectly good Mr. October to me.
Now I just have to keep him messaging until he suggests we meet. I'm not sure how long this will take, but the month is young. If I can get a coffee date out of him, the $4 I spend on a latte will definitely be a better investment than the $10 I was intending to pay the piggy. And I bet his conversation is better than the piggy's too.
Hopefully.
「ペアーズ(Pairs)でマッチング！」【※要注意】実はそのあとが重要なんです。
5 years ago
Posts
I say go for it. Why not suggest you go out and meet for a coffee if you are interested? Or do you prefer the guy to make the moves? I'm kind of indifferent, but I've learned that if I'm interested and don't feel like waiting around for the guy to do the asking, why not bring it up myself (mind you, this came after months of trying to work up the nerve). In any event, good luck and let us know how it goes!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm not opposed to doing the asking, but in this situation, since I'm really not interested in starting something more than just a date, the implications of me asking seem like a cruel lead-on. If I start chasing and then slap him with the "I don't want to get involved" talk, the inevitable question is "why did you ask me out in the first place?" This is difficult to explain when going on dates for the sake of an anonymous secret blog. :)
ReplyDeleteIf I did find someone to chase, believe me, I would chase. I encourage all women to go after what they want, rather than waiting for it to come to them. The key is to know yourself well enough to actually know what you want.