S: Maybe a Mr. October...ctd.

My potential Mr. October continues to be cute and sweet and interesting.

And he's THIS close to arranging a date. He keeps asking about what I like to do and eat and then randomly giving me insight into his schedule.

Let's make it happen, Octy. I don't want to sweat it 'til the end.

Yesterday he sent me his digits, which I utilized to set off a nice day of exchanging text messages. You know how Sheila loves her texting.

Our digital conversation was so engaging that he almost made me forget that today is the two month mark.

Until he texted something complimentary and sounded just like Guy. And it made me cry a little bit. Because it was so sweet. And it wasn't coming from the right male of the species.

It feels weird to be remotely interested in someone else. Even at this early "I'm just curious" stage. I kind of feel like I'm cheating on Guy. Like I'm supposed to be holding out for him to change his mind. Like I'm supposed to believe that there really isn't someone else out there who could be good for me. That if I move on, I'll be destroying something. I'll be officially closing the door on Guy and Sheila.

It's almost like I want someone to call him and tell him he really is about to lose me, so if he's going to come to any kind of realization, now's the time. Because it feels like it would be kind of sad to move on.

But that's ridiculous. And I know it.

I'm not saying that this October guy is going to turn into anything. That's not where I am right now. But he does make it possible for the "ding ding" of a new text from someone other than Guy to illicit a cheesy grin. And he makes it seem possible to imagine a non-Guy guy being satisfactory. He also makes it seem possible that someone super hot other than Guy could actually find me desirable.

I guess for the first time it feels like the car really isn't going to turn around. Perhaps my head and heart are finally starting to communicate again.