S: Online Dating...Continued

The online dating saga continues. As I suspected, this is, if nothing else, a good distraction for me. (There is more Guy stuff to update you on...so many blog posts...so little time.)

After one day, I hid my profiles on Match and Chemistry. What a complete waste of time. You can't do anything on those sites if you don't subscribe. And I was too much of a moron to realize this before I wasted a crap-ton of time filling out questionnaires and making up BS about how awesome I am.

What I did do was follow Jane's excellent example and sign up for OKCupid. Which is free and has an easy to navigate user interface.

Here's my problem. (Ok, one of my problems). Why is it that not a single man in or near my city can take a decent picture? Who are these guys? What's wrong with their faces?

This is why, to me, it's better to meet people in person. Because looks are so much less important when you are getting the full effect of someone's personality. If I strike up a conversation with someone somewhere, it's usually because I'm being a sassypants about something. If they can throw it back...done. Then perhaps there is an assessment of looks, but by then the light is positive and the judgment is softened.

Online, I find myself passing over guys very quickly because of how they look in their photos. That seems really wrong.

I also don't like assessing someone based on a cursory glance at how well they can describe themselves. This seems highly unfair.

In fact, assessing people at all seems unfair. I do not enjoy being a judge.

I do not like it Sam I Am.

Another issue...I've read a few of the profile pages and some of the guys seem interesting, but I still feel really hung up. Every time I have to consider what I'm looking for in someone, all I can think about is Guy. I stop...picture Guy in my head...and try to describe him. I don't do it on purpose. This is just automatically what happens. It's hard to decide if I'm at all interested in someone when I know exactly who I want to be with and that dude is not him.

Plus, I feel bad because so many of these guys are obviously looking for something special and I just need to finish out this damn challenge so I can go back to spintsting. (No, it's not a word, but it should be.) I've tried to be up front about the fact that I'm not planning to get involved, but in the framework of these sites, that makes me sound like some kind of slut. Like I'm just looking to hook up. It also begs the question, why be on a dating site if you aren't looking to get involved?

Another thing that I never considered...what do you do when you come across guys you know? Oh, hi friend of mine, I see you are on a dating site and now you see that I am. Let's not ever speak of this. P.S. You are so not the guy you describe in your profile, but whatevs.

Does this mean I know all the single guys in my city already? Eeeek! Do I commiserate with them? Is this awkward? Should it be? Why is there such embarrassment involved? Apparently I still harbor some kind of dating site stigma.

This is a whole new experience for me. Which I guess is a good thing. Wasn't that the point of all of this in the first place? Experiences. I've already been through what I just experienced over the last 6 months, so perhaps now is the time for something new.

O.k. That's it. I gotta go. I have 600 messages to reply to from a lot of random guys who think they are really hot. None of whom live anywhere near me or are in my preferred age range. Just what I needed. More administrative hoopla in my life.

It does beat wondering what I should be doing about my "relationship" with Guy. It is refreshing to focus on something else for a change. Even though focusing on dating at all is just a constant reminder of the fact that I'm back to dating.