S: Time Is Not On My Side

I thought that the passage of time would help.

O.k., admittedly it's only been 2 weeks since we broke up and 4 days since or rather unpleasant conversation on Sunday (the likely signal that all is lost) and I'm not a very patient person.

But still...

My theory was that I would feel less and less, miss him less and less and hope less and less as the days passed. But what seems to be happening is that my frustration and willpower are dissipating with the passage of time, but my feelings and missing and hoping are filling up the space that the frustration and willpower were occupying. Every day I feel more sad and anxious.

Maybe I'm just feeling like every day that passes without hearing from him is another day further from any of this ever working out.

I just wish that every day that passed would also make me care less about all of this. I'm not sure why that isn't what's happening. Why can't I just get over this and move on?

Which reminds of the new feeling that's been added to the mix: foolishness. One of my personal favorites. And the feeling that is likely to prevent me from allowing this to happen to me again.