J: Judging A Book

My date with Mr. May is tomorrow and I’ve become a bit apprehensive about it.

This date is a blind one, set up by a good friend who is working with this guy on an enormous project. So far, he’s bent over backwards to help her out and according to her, he has proven himself to be a really great guy. She found out that he was single and showed him my picture and told him to give me a call. Based on that, he called.

The problem is…the picture that she showed him was an old one. A skinny one.

When he called, he told me that he had the advantage because he had seen me I hadn’t seen him. He also took the time to tell me that I’m “cute” and that he’s reeeeally looking forward to meeting me.

Again...based on an old picture!

In another text, another day, he told me that he hoped that I’d see him as the best looking project manager that I’ve ever met. To which I didn’t respond. Because really…how do you respond to that: "I hope so too!"

And then today, as we were finalizing details, he asked me to send him a picture. Since we’re meeting in a location where there will be very few people, I responded with “I’ll be the one (with curly hair if it’s raining) who shows up at 11:30. ;)”. To which he responded: “You can’t say I didn’t try”.

Huh?

One reference to appearance is understandable considering this is a blind date.

Two is uncomfortable.

Three is excessive.

Maybe all of this image consciousness is due to his own insecurities regarding his own appearance? My friend has been very careful not to set my expectations one way or the other. Her comment has been: “everyone finds different people attractive”.

Maybe my sense of discomfort is due to MY own insecurities. Especially since I know that the image that he’s basing this date on is a SKINNY PICTURE and that after a quick glance, who knows how much he’s twisted it around in his mind.

Granted, I’m not huge, but also I’m not where I was a year ago weight wise, and that knowledge is so hard. I strive to get my weight back down but am just not making headway and that has been such a major source of stress for me recently. Stress that makes me want to eat more to feel better about it. Ugh.

So, maybe I’m crazy, freaking out about all of these comments that are focused on appearances.

Definitely, it’s a sensitive subject for me. I want to warn him…to set HIS expectations low. It would be nice if he were pleasantly surprised instead of disappointed when the person in the picture he saw isn’t the one who shows up in person. But, I just can’t sell myself short like that, either.

I guess that no matter how much it stresses me out, tomorrow will be here soon. He’ll see how I really look. In person. I’ll see how he looks. In person. At that point, we’ll see if that’s what’s really important to him, afterall.

And, If nothing else, I’ll be able to check the box for May.