J: Breaking up...again

Yaaaaay.

In less than a month, I get to have my second break-up discussion.

Fun.

After only two dates, three phone conversations and a handfull of texts, Mr. October has completely, totally and absolutely fallen for me. And while so much flattery is nice, I just can't bring myself to pretend anymore.

He called yesterday to tell me how excited he is about seeing me on our date that was scheduled for tonight. Apparently, instead of going to a local movie theater where you can get dinner while you watch your movie, he wants to go to dinner and then to a movie so that we can spend even more time together. He also expressed his interest in seeing me as much as possible and at least "more than once a week". But I'm leaving for a cruise with my family (I'll be blogging about this soon, too) on Friday and my calendar is pretty much filled up for the rest of the week with other pre-existing plans and last minute trip preparation tasks.

If I were actually interested in him, instead of making excuses about how busy I am, wouldn't I have found a day, an evening, or even just a spare hour to see him before I left the country for over a week? I didn't even really want to give him my email address when he asked if we could stay in touch while I'm away. I just didn't want that much of a 'responsibility' while I'm on vacation. Plus, quite honestly, I wouldn't be all that upset to find myself in the middle of a little on-board romance.

Unfortunately, when I woke up this morning, it was pretty apparent that I'm finally succumbing to this cold that I've been fighting off all week. Fortunately, Mr. October knows from yesterday's phone call, that I'm not feeling my best. So, while I know that it's not going to make him happy, I'm going to call and cancel our date for tonight due to the level of crappy that I'm feeling. I'm also going to take advantage of being on the phone with him to tell him that while I really and truly enjoy spending time with him we're just not at the same place. And I don't see us getting there.

I know where I went, emotionally, with Mr. September despite the fact that he wasn't able to go there with me. And it's just not fair to let this 'relationship' progress any further when I can tell that Mr. October is already headed down that same path. He is a great guy...but we're not going to turn into an "us"...no matter how much he wants it and pushes for it.

This sucks.

I have a feeling that the actual event of breaking up with myself last month will have turned out to be a whole lot easier than the event of breaking up with Mr. October will be...even if the aftermath was (and still is) harder.