S: The November Cup

I just checked the calendar…we are halfway through November. This worries me because I have yet to score any date plans. And I’m not sure I will. This month is running low on weekends and one of them is a holiday. Scheduling options are getting scarce.

I have a few Mr. Possibilities I’ve been working on, but I don’t know if any of them will hit the “go out” button in the next couple of weeks. Every one of them seems close, and yet…nothing. And I’m still in this place of feeling like I can’t do the asking because I think it makes the subsequent “I don’t want to get involved” chat more difficult. I mean, why do the asking if I’m not interested? How do I explain that?

So it’s going to be a race to the finish this month. Here are the 3 contenders for the title of Mr. November. At this point, they are neck-and-neck. And I may get left in the dust.

Contender the First -

There is a fella I’ve been exchanging messages with on my chosen dating site. He started the conversation by letting me know he was amused by my profile. Not the first time I’ve heard that, but if a guy says it in an interesting way, I’ll respond. He seems intelligent, can banter and hasn’t made any overt, disrespectful sexual remarks. My tactic with this contender is to keep encouraging talk of food preferences we have in common in order to work my way into a lunch or dinner invitation.

There are two major issues with C1. First, he’s still married. He’s listed himself as “separated.” I don’t know what this means, but right now I couldn’t be more done with dealing with Bitter Divorce Guys (BDGs). (To be fair, I haven’t yet sensed his bitterness, but I have yet to meet a divorced guy on the dating scene who isn’t). And if he’s not even actually divorced? He’s all kinds of potential train wreck. But, all I need is one date. One dinner and a kind “I can’t see getting involved while you’re still married and dealing with this crap.” Just one. This month. Like…now.

The other issue, you ask? He is currently out of the country. Yes…you read right…*out of the country*. Just as I was working my, get-him-to-ask-me-out-and-make-sure-he-thinks-it’s-his-idea magic, he sends a message saying he’s getting on a plane and crossing the pond. Great, I’m trying to get a date on the calendar in the next couple of weeks and he leaves the country. The good news is that he sent me a message from over seas. I was surprised by that effort. Definitely a sign of interest. I guess we’ll see what happens when he gets back. Just need that one date. You know…yesterday.

Contender Uno may be lagging behind the pack due to his relative proximity to me and any place we might go together.

Contender the Second -

There is another fella I’ve been conversing with on the same dating site. I sent him a random message a while back and finally got a response apologizing for the delay in reply. Again, just like Contender the First, he seems intelligent and fun to banter with, but I’m not that excited about him. He corrects me. Don’t correct me. That’s just rude. We have some grammar pet peeves in common, which gives us something to chat about, but I can’t deal with hanging out with a corrector. You spend too much time wondering if you’re saying the wrong thing and if he’s judging you. And then you have to try really hard not to correct in response to his corrections.

BUT, I just need the one date. It just doesn’t seem like he’s going to ask. We exchange friendly messages, but he doesn’t seem in any hurry to meet. He asks me what my plans are for the weekend, but then doesn’t really take it anywhere from there. I’ve started to believe that he will not be asking me out in time for him to be Mr. November. If at all.

Which, in reality, I don’t mind. I’m not very interested in him. Actually, if we did go out, I think the lack of spark/interest would be mutual. I think finally I would find myself in a situation in which we both know it’s not going any further and we’ll both be fine with it. (Also, I suspect he may be writing a secret blog about dating too…he’s not the dating site type.)

Even so, Contender the Second is picking up the rear with Contender the First at this point, due to his lack of a sense of urgency.

Contender the Third -

This contender has been added to the roster by more traditional means. He’s my second fix-up of the Date Club Challenge. Guy was the first fix-up, although a subtle one. Ok, he was more of an ambush, but I’m paying the price for it, so I don’t feel bad.

Anyway, a friend suggested a fix-up between me and a guy who works in her office and I told her I was o.k. with it, knowing full well I need to get a November on the books. So, she set up an after work drink get-together between the three of us and another friend. It went well. He’s a nice guy. Very congenial and polite. The four of us had some good conversation over some drinks and appetizers.

Buuuuut, no spark. My friend called right after, and before her phone died, I told her if he asked me out I would go, but that I didn’t feel any strong sparks flying around. Frankly, if he didn’t ask me out, I’d be fine. But we didn’t get to talk much, so maybe there’s more there.

Here’s the little bit of news she passed on to me during our brief post mortem chat…he’s getting divorced. Like, right now. His divorce is final this week. Again, he didn’t behave like a BDG, but he’s going through this as I type. He can’t be in a good place.

I suppose this isn’t a bad thing. It gives us both a safe reason not to get involved. No need to reject anyone personally. We have an “out.”

Back to the race. Contender the Third moved to the head of the pack today by being the only one to actually have suggested a social outing together. As is the modern custom, C3 friended me on Facebook a day or two after our fix-up and began a conversation. We’ve been having some fun going back and forth for a few days and both playing the “how can I create an ask-out situation without going out on a limb” game. It’s working.

I got a bit concerned when he said he was out of town for the next two weekends and how did December sound, but then he also added that we could possibly go out during the week. I made a push for during the week.

Place your bets on Contender the Third. He’s a few lengths ahead.

BUT WAIT! Another stallion has just entered the race.

Contender the Fourth –

The very thoughtful dating site will sometimes send me mate suggestions. Most of them are frightening. This one was not. This one is tasty. And he sent me a message. Yay! I do like hearing from the tasty ones.

He has some catching up to do and I’m not sure he’ll make it, but he does seem interested. He’s younger than I’d like. And, if we go out, I could see him being a bit cocky for my tastes, but he comes across as a nice guy in his messages and hasn’t gotten creepy yet. And no sign of a divorce.

And did I mention the tasty? Yum.

I don’t imagine he’ll catch up to the other contenders at this late date, but he might. He certainly has the confidence to. I won’t have to do a lot of encouraging. This is not a contender who gets shot down.

If he doesn’t win the November Cup, my bets are definitely on him for December.

So, the race is on. Four contenders. Two weeks. Can Sheila pull this one out or is she going to owe Mr. Piggy? Put on your best hat, sip your mint julep and sit back and enjoy the show.