J: Free

Done.

After much, much stressing and a very difficult, much longer than it should have been discussion, I’ve finally broken up with Mr. October.

He’s willing to slow way down. He’s willing to give me all the time I need. He’s willing to just be friends. Anything, anything, anything I want, just so he can be in my life.

I suck.

I’m supposed to call him when I’ve had time to think about it. I’m supposed to call him when I figure it all out. I’m supposed to contact him when I’m ready to go out again…as a friend or ‘hopefully more’.

And…ouch…doesn’t that plan sound familiar?

It’s not going to happen. I’m not going to call. I can’t go there emotionally and it’s just not fair to him to let him think we could be friends, knowing that he would always want it to turn into more.

Ouch…that sounds familiar too.

So....moving on!

In other news: now that Mr. October can’t think it’s because I want to be exclusive with him, I also dumped OKCupid tonight. Yes…my profile is officially down (at least until I log back in again, which I don’t see happening any time soon.)

I have a couple of prospects for December. Hopefully one of them will work out without the assistance of a free (crappy) online dating site.

So long, OKC...you brought me nothing but heartache!!!

Two breakups in one night. No more Mr. October. No more OKCupid.

I feel free. I feel relieved. I feel like a jerk.