J: Chicken Shit

I suck.

Just called to cancel my date with Mr. October. But I wasn't able to find a way to have 'the conversation'.

I texted my bestest guy friend to admit that I chickened out. His response: "Jane...you should have done it last week."

Yeah. I know.

The sad thing is...I think Mr. October knows too. He avoided any "I must see you" type of comments...which meant that I didn't really have an opening to go into my prepared "we're not in the same place" speech that I was planning to launch into from there.

He did ask me to call him tomorrow. I owe him this conversation. Maybe I'll figure out how to just blurt it all out by then.

Why am I feeling so trapped by someone I've only gone out with twice?