J: Enough?

I’ve wondered what a ‘normal’ week would look like, with this fantastic Mr. September. And here we are...just at Tuesday and I’m thinking a ‘normal’ week just ain’t enough.

Maybe I was spoiled by being forced to steal all those limited moments between our trips.

Maybe I was spoiled by this last, glorious weekend when we spent every minute together.

Maybe I was spoiled by the speed that we’ve taken things thus far.

But, now the weekend is over. And, I didn’t get to see him last night. And, I don’t get to see him tonight either.

I guess that’s part of what I signed up for when I agreed to date a single father. I guess it’s also what I get for dating someone so successful who actually cares about his career. (Sooooo hot!)

Tonight, for him, is about a.) his kid (as it should be), b.) a 9:30 pm meeting with China and c.)preparation for tomorrow's extremely important meeting (that literally will determine the direction of his career).


How can I possibly compete with that?

Tonight was ‘tentative’ anyways and apparently, I’m “too much of a distraction” (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

Okay, I get that.

And, I respect that.

But it doesn’t mean that I wouldn't rather be eating my pizza and drinking my wine with him.

I’m doing my best to remember that I have a life. A full life. I had this full life before him. I will have it after him.

I’m also doing my best not to start wondering if I’m more into this than he is.

But, he introduced me to his kid this weekend…and we got along famously. (They, apparently, even had a “yeah, she’s cool” conversation about me.) We had the “we’re ‘going steady’” conversation. We’ve talked beyond October (Christmas!!! We actually talked about CHRISTMAS!) He’s also told me that if I’m not looking towards long term, at any point, then I need to let him know and we should end it right then and move on. And he'd do the same.

I must be crazy to want more…to need more than all that. Right?


It’s my own insecurities. I know that.


It’s my own need to grab on and hold tight and strangle the life out of the relationship.


It’s my own crazy.

Soooo, I’m giving space. I’m sitting on my own couch with my own pizza and my own glass of wine and not calling, not texting, blogging out all of my frustration and fear to you.

Tomorrow night I will go to my dance classes as planned.


And maybe (just maybe) tomorrow we will find some time to catch up on how his big important meeting went.

Or maybe not.

And I’ll look forward to this weekend and the definite plans that we have then.And not expect more than that.