Yes it sucked knowing I had no Guy to go hang out with as I had planned. And, yes, it sucked knowing there wasn't someone out there thinking loving thoughts about me. And, yes, it sucked thinking that this wasn't just a temporary thing.
I don't like it when things are over.
But I'm adaptable.
Here's what I did like:
- Having plenty of time to work out. Not just rushing through it to get out the door.
- Not having to get myself "ready" again after my workout shower.
- Not having to shave in all the places where it's annoying to have to shave.
- Not having any stress wondering what I should be doing to not screw up things with Guy tonight. "Should I be there by now?" "Should I have texted him?" "Should I not have texted him?" "Why haven't I heard from him?" "Did I say the right thing earlier?" I had no idea how much time and energy I spent stressing out over keeping things good.
- Eating dairy. TMI in 3...2...1...I'm slightly lactose intolerant, so dairy makes me ummm...how to put this delicately...oh, forget it...it makes me gassy. Gassy makes an evening with one's boyfriend rather unpleasant. No boyfriend? No plans? Toot away!
- Realizing that I get to flirt and go on dates again. I'm good at flirting and going on dates. I like the electricity of that first connection with someone. And I've been feeling a little left out reading all of Jane's adventures. It'll be fun to be back in the saddle.
- Not neglecting my cats for once.
- Knowing that this is his loss and he's likely to regret it way more than I will.
Don't get me wrong. I miss him. And I really was in it for the long haul. I'm not gonna lie, if he changed his mind and said he loved me (and could make me believe his thinking on things had changed), I can't say I wouldn't jump right back in.
But the fact is that I'm great on my own. I shine when I'm allowed to be free. Being cut loose opens the world up for me again. It's time to have some fun.
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Oh Sheila. I'm so sad for you! :(
ReplyDeleteIt's been lonley struggling to get dates all on my own but I really didn't want either you OR Elle back in the game. I was hoping for happily-ever-after for you both.
From your posts, it sounds like you're handling this better than could be expected. Just, please, don't let your heart get too hard. I really still know a good thing is out there.
Love and hugs for you, my friend! How I wish you were closer so I could give you a huge hug & sit up late with you, sharing a bottle (or two) of wine.
Hang in there!