J: Eight Minutes

Turns out, speed dating is FUN! Whodathunk it?

As you know from my last post, I was completely freaked out about the whole speed dating experience. That lasted right up until about the minute that I sat down with my first 'date'. We started talking and from that point forward the evening flew by (mostly).

If you’ve never done this before, here’s how it works:

The people arranging the event wait until about the day before the party and ‘confirm’ an equal number of guys and gals. Then, as you arrive & sign in they hand you a name tag with first name and an assigned ID#. They also hand you a card with your table number & space to write in each date’s name and a ‘distinguishing characteristic’ to help you remember which one was the marathoner and which one was the guy who called himself ‘outdoorsy’ because he enjoys riding in his convertible with the top down.

After being properly name-tagged, you are steered to the bar for some liquid courage and awkward mingling until the night officially kicks off. Once everyone arrives you go to your assigned seat, you greet the person across from you and dinnnng, the bell rings and you’re off! If the person is interesting & there are at least a few little potential sparks, 8 minutes flies by. If the guy can’t seem to keep his eyes off your nametag (fastened to your boob) it’s the longest 8 minutes…EVER! Once the bell dings again, you take a moment to discreetly mark your dating card, find your new table, shake a new hand and dinnnnnng…you’re off again.

After 4 rounds of this it’s Intermission and time to mingle with those that you got along with well or with those hotties that haven’t made it to your table yet. (By this point, the drink specials are working their magic and everyone is a little bit more outgoing, loosened up, and willing to approach & chat up a perfect stranger). Wheeee.

Right as you’ve gotten into the mingling groove, it’s time to sit back down again for 4 more dates.
At the end of the night, you look over your list of dates & decide who you’d like to see again and which ones you’d prefer to avoid at all costs. If you go with a girlfriend (as I did) you get another drink & compare notes on the evening’s events. “Did you meet THAT guy?” “Did that one tell you the story about his dog?” “Oh him? Um yeah…I just wrote ‘hell no’ as his distinguishing characteristic.”

You then have a day or so to go online with your ID# and officially select what level of contact you’d be interested in for each person: 2nd Date, Friendship, Business Acquaintance or Nada. If you both choose the same category, waaa laaa…it’s a match! They make you sign a liability waiver (“I will not hold 8-minute dating responsible for hooking me up with a mass murderer/puppy hater/toupee wearer blah blah blah.”) and they send you the other person’s email & phone number. It’s up to the two of you after that point.

Easy, peasy, lemon squeezy….right?

Yes, actually, it was. And I actually had a really great time! The thing was, we were all there for the same reason. With the way the evening was set up, you didn't have to reject and you couldn't be rejected. You sit and talk to the people that you’re assigned to sit and talk to…you can chat with anyone for 8 minutes. Right?

Conversation flowed pretty easily for the most part, and I didn’t even once have to whip out any of the horrible interview questions listed in my last post. Mostly it was: have you done this before? It’s crazy isn’t it?? Where do you work? DO you work? How long have you been in our fine, fine, southern city…and what brought you here? What do you do for fun?

It’s amazing how much you can cover in 8 minutes, and how many different directions the conversations can go! One guy had his 2 minute “About me” speech ready and was happy to recite it for me. (I was not impressed.) Another guy & I spent the entire 8 minutes talking about his obsession with U2, whereupon I had no choice but to share the fact that I had kissed Bono (no, not the real one…a wannabe) on New Year’s Eve. (Yes, I know, this would be entirely inappropriate date conversation had I not already established during the intermission mingle that while he was a bit of a hoot, this one would turn out to be nothing more than a friend.)

In the perfect example of how small of a world it is, it turned out that I actually knew two of my ‘dates’. One of them goes to my church and during our 8 minutes together he kindly (but pointedly) said “I guess you’re okay with me listing you as a friend?” The other one I see out dancing every now and again and that one was a bit awkward. We’d danced before, but there never was much conversation. The way that our 8 minute conversation started heading, I got nervous that he might have been interested in more. What to do in that situation? You know that you’ll see each other again, without needing a match notification & contact info from the 8 minute peeps. Do you list him as a ‘friend’ since you already know that’s all he’ll be, even when you know that he might be choosing '2nd date' for you? Awwwwkward.

On a positive note, this experiment turned out to be a success. On this night there ended up being two guys who I would be interested in seeing again. Afterwards, during my debrief with my friend, we found that we both felt the exact same way & got the exact same vibes off all of the exact same guys. It’ll be interesting to see if we both end up going out with the two that we liked and how our opinions will change when we have to keep up a conversation for more than 8 minutes. As far as I’m concerned, she can keep them occupied until March…I've already have my official February date. ;) (More about that later!)

I highly recommend speed dating to all of you single girls out there. (Sheila & Elle, in the spirit of adventure & camaraderie I absolutely think that you should give it a whirl! Both of you are so outgoing and fun, I truly think you'd be the stars of the night!) Yes, it's very scary to even consider and while there's really no guarantee that you'll find your "one" there, you are guaranteed to come out of the experience with at least one good story!

Now if it weren’t for our Date Club’s darn “a date must be 30 minutes long” & “you can’t bank dates” rules, I’d be set for the most of the year!