Guy has been out of town. He had to head to his homeland for a family gathering. I was invited to come, but am feeling like it may be too soon for me to spend a weekend staying at his parents' house with him and his son. Although, considering how much I have missed him over the last 2 days, I'm not sure I'll be able to take another single gal weekend in a couple of weeks when he has to go back for yet another family affair. I may have to reconsider my discomfort with foisting myself upon his family.
Because of my aversion to this Guy-less world, currently, I am at his house doing laundry, working out on his elliptical, showering in his shower and using his soap. Alone. Like a modern day Goldilocks. It feels odd and comfortable all at the same time.
And now it smells odd, because I very badly burned a bag of popcorn. Clearly his microwave works WAY better than mine. And lots of TV channels can distract one from listening for the frequency of pops. Right up until the point at which the kitchen is filled with smoke and the microwave looks like something from firefighter practice.
Oops. Rookie mistake.
He's gonna love me for this.
And probably take away my garage door remote.
Oh, did I not tell you that? He gave me a remote for his garage. I can now come and go as I please. Even while he's out of town and I need to use his washer and dryer because mine are out of commission and I feel like making things stink like nasty, burned popcorn. I'm sure the neighbors are WTFing all over the place, but that's the fun part.
Anyway, I missed him a lot last night. I actually got out of the house and hung out with friends but spent most of the night preparing myself for the disappointment of just going home and not going to stay with him. I did get a decent amount of sleep and felt great this morning, though.
Then a day of yard work, which gave me plenty of time to think about him and miss him. Especially since he was busy and I barely heard from him all day. That made it 10 times worse.
And then I couldn't stand it and I had to pack up my stuff and head to his place. Only, it's not the same without him. Without even the prospect of him. Now I miss him more. And have to resist the urge to crawl into the bed and just stay there until he gets back.
But it'll still smell like burnt popcorn and I really don't want to be around for that.
Suffice it to say, something has changed for me. Before Guy, a weekend on my own would have been quite welcome. Now it just reminds me of how I fill my life with busy-ness that doesn't make me happy or fulfill me and distracts me from the people and things that do. And it is a brief glimpse of life without him...which I thought I was accustomed to and could totally do. But it's obvious to me that now that I've had life with him, I am wholly unprepared to have life without him.
I'd like to avoid that, if at all possible. But I wonder sometimes. I owe you a post about our religion conversation. I'm flip-flopping on this, but my fear is that we've found our one big deal breaker. The hurdle we may not be able to jump, no matter how hard we run at it or how deftly we try to go around it. It's there and it must be dealt with.
For the time being, I count down the hours until we get together. After having not seen each other for a mere 2 days. 2...DAYS. This is not a long time. People who are dating go for much longer without seeing each other.
Oy.
I don't know what I'm going to do when he's gone for a week on vacation in May. But my guess is you'll hear about me on the news.
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