S: Bullet Journal

Here I was supposed to be posting more and treating this more like a journal and I've been more neglectful than ever it seems. Clearly I need a better system for regular posting. I'm thinking a USB adapter that plugs into my head so I can just upload posts when I think of them. Think of the time I'd save. Think of the interfacing we could do if we had USB ports through which to exchange thoughts purely without having to filter them through our own experiences, insecurities, self-editing and poor communication skills.

And then stop thinking about all of that because it sorta hurts the cranial contents.

Anyway, random Jack Handy-ness aside, in the interest of a brief bit of journaling, I'm going to bore you with bullet points again. It's the only way to get out what I've been wanting to share without feeling the pressure of an overly analyzed post. My hope is that it doesn't seem too impersonal. I apologize for the lack of structure. Consider it a buffet, rather than a planned out, 5 course meal.

1. I feel like my last post made Guy seem somewhat needy and possessive. I feel very bad about this. I don't want to show him in a negative light, because he most definitely is not needy. He was remorseful about our why-couldn't-we-get-together-sooner conversations, because he was mostly just in a missing me kind of mood. He knows I spend what time I can with him. As does he with me, really. He loves that I have my own life and doesn't want me to give things up for him, but still, he wants to spend as much time with me as possible. And, frankly, I feel the same way about him. He has way too much going on in his own world to be needy. And that is fine with me. He is important to me and I want to make him a priority in my life in order to reflect that importance, I'm just not quite sure how to make it all happen.

2.Speaking of needy...I think I'm beginning to be the needy one. Guy is going back home for the weekend for a family gathering, which leaves me a free bird for a few days. Now, normally, this would be something I would delight in. A weekend all to myself to do as I please. But not this time. Currently I am rather sad that I will not get to spend the usual amount of time with him. I have nothing really going on and will mostly fill the time with yard work I'm sure, but that won't keep me from missing him. I suppose I could opt to go with him, but I feel that it was too soon to go back with him and stay at his parents' place. I just think his mom may need more time to get used to the idea of me before I start inserting myself into their lives. Or maybe I'm just paranoid. Either way, I'm going to have to find distractions this weekend so I don't get too lonely and pathetic without my squeeze. This is so unlike me. Wish me luck.

3. I love how we have so much fun together. The other night we went to a show and spent the entire time giggling with each other over the gentleman behind us who snored through all the songs and then woke up in time to clap, only to fall right back asleep as soon as the next one started. We couldn't stop cracking up over the sound of this. Every time one of us would stop laughing, the other would get it started again. We laugh a lot together. Big laughing. Good core workout laughing. I hope we always find that kind of fun together.

4. One of my favorite things about our relationship is that we both think we are dating "up." You know how in a relationship between two people, it will seem like one of them could perhaps do better or is dating below themselves. I don't really like these kinds of generalizations because they are so mean (to at least one person), but we seem to have established that each of us thinks the other could do better. We both think we are dating "up" to someone who is out of our proverbial league. If there has to be this kind of sentiment, I'm glad this is where we are. It seems like the best way.

5. We started talking more about our different religious beliefs. This is going to be a tough one, I can tell you that right now. Probably one of the biggest hurdles we'll have to jump. I think we can get over it, but I'm not yet entirely sure how. I owe you a longer post, but wanted to get this out there because it is something that will be discussed again.

6. We're still waiting to exhale on the topic of the broken condom. There will hopefully be TMI to post very soon. Hopefully.

I think that covers the broad strokes. So many things bouncing around in my tiny head. I just had to get them out. Now for the real question...

So who's free on Saturday night?