J: He’s baaaaaaccckkkkkk….

Before this challenge, the last relationship I was in broke my heart just a bit.

I had been literally crushing on this guy for years. When he finally got around to asking me out we dated for about a month. That month was filled with all the yummy sparks and excitement and thrilling moments and physical attraction and laugher and joy that any girl could ever hope for.

This boy works for the same corporate giant as I do and unfortunately, right as our relationship was getting ready to dock at happy-land, our company decided to send him far far overseas for awhile.

Our next to last date was the weekend before his month long visit to far far overseas to decide if he did indeed want to move. And then…nothing.

After he got back, our last date only happened because I initiated it. My excuse was that I wanted to see pictures and hear stories. In actuality, I just wanted to pick up where we left off. (Duh!)

But, that last date was strained. He told me that he had accepted the amazing opportunity and would be moving to the other side of the globe in just a couple more weeks…for the next several years. YEARS! I left the date with not a single kiss, not a single hug (and oh my, our physical relationship was WAY beyond that point before his trip!)

I called a friend on my way home. With tears running down my face I told her that I’d be shocked if I heard from him again.

And, I never did.

For awhile I made excuses: he was too busy with his move…he was too busy getting settled into his new life…he’s in a totally different time zone and is asleep when I’m awake, of course he can’t call me now. I was a master of self-delusion, but then again, I had our kids named by that point….an ocean couldn’t keep us apart! Of course this wasn’t the end!

Finally, several months later, when I learned via facebook that he had his first visit back after the big move and never contacted me, I finally opened my eyes and gave up. And in a wine-induced rage, I defriended him on facebook. (Take THAT, buster!)

Well, here it is, a year later and I just heard a rumor that his assignment is ending early.

He’s coming home.

Grrreat.

If it were just an issue of returning to my city, I could handle it. My ex-husband lives here afterall, and somehow we manage to keep to our own parts of the town. But nooo…not only does he still work for my company. He’s also still in my BUILDING. Which means that he uses my cafeteria. And worse….my coffee shop!

Realistically, there will not be any avoiding of this one. And while just thinking about him still makes my heart hurt a little bit, I know that I’m in a completely different place from a year ago.

It’ll be interesting to see how he reacts to me too. Will he acknowledge me? Will he make eye contact? Will he engage me in conversation? WILL HE ASK ME OUT AGAIN?

All my girlfriends say: “Forget him! He’s sooo not worth it! He’s dead to you!”

The strong woman in me says “Screw him! He gave up a good thing without looking back!”.

The weak girly girl in me who crushed on this specific boy for so very long says “What if…??”