J: Birthday Blog

Yesterday, when I was thinking about writing this blog, I was hesitant because I was worried that it wasn’t going to come out sounding all that positive. I hated to have to subject you to another depressed, disappointed outpouring of frustration with the way that life has been going throughout the past year.

However, today when I woke up, bright and early (despite last night’s expensive bottle of wine & midnight skinny dipping) on the morning of my 34th year, feeling inspired to kick off the new year with a nice long run, I realized that I’m actually not in such a bad place, emotionally, after all.

I have hope.

I have plans. This year can be different!

I am making a commitment to make this year a year of healthy choices.

I am choosing to get back down to the healthy weight that I was at, just 2 years ago. I will NOT be one of the 90% of people who experience major weight loss, who ends up regaining all the weight back. I will NOT! I will make healthy choices in regards to the food that I put into my body. I will make healthy choices in regards to the level of daily activity that I maintain. I will choose long-term health over short term yumminess. I will hydrate.

I am choosing to strive towards being a better friend. Lately it seems that I’ve found myself to be completely absorbed by & wrapped up in my own junk. I need to reach out to those I love more and let them know how much they truly mean to me and how important they are in my life. I am choosing to have healthy discussions, (even when they’re difficult) with the people I love. Despite my aversion to confrontation, I choose to not allow my silence & fear of being vulnerable to create the opportunity for meaningful relationships to slip away. On the flip side of the same coin, I’m choosing to be honest in my dating relationships. If I’m just not seeing a future together, I will have those discussions that allow us both to move on.

I am choosing to accept my single state and to strive to truly enjoy it. Part of the reason this birthday’s approach was so difficult for me was due to the thought that another year has gone by and I’m still single. It seems like every year, every holiday I say (if not out loud, at least in my head): “This is the very last year that I will be single on my birthday/Valentine’s Day/Christmas/Arbor Day…I can’t handle another year of dealing with THIS on my own”. Well, guess what …I CAN handle “this” on my own. I have actually been doing really well on my own. And…I’m choosing to acknowledge that I’m not alone. I am surrounded by friends & family who show me love, each & every day.

I have very big ambitions, big hopes, big dreams for the year. But, it’s easy to dream big when tucked away in birthday-land. My hope…no…my choice is to remember these ambitions throughout the year. I want to hold this vision through the year…to not let it go.

Here’s to a good year….a happy and healthy and joyful year! And a big thanks to all of you for sharing this journey with me.