J: "Ballsy"

Finally…after 24 very long hours, I was able to catch up with the friend who initially introduced me to Mr. April and quiz her about the conversation she had with him over the weekend. She said that he was enthusiastic about the date and that he had said that it went well and that he had a really great time.

He also told her that I had asked him out initially, (which she pretended like she didn’t already know…good girl friend that she is!)

His exact comment about me initiating the date was that I was “ballsy” and that he had really “liked that”.

Since the ask, I’ve been struggling a bit with the fact that I went against what all of the dating books say to do by being the pursuer and not waiting to be chased. Granted, I had a quota to meet. And to his credit, this guy quickly picked up the reins right after I let him know that I wanted to go out…but I still had to be the one to get the ball rolling.

I think that it’s easy for these dating books to generalize what “guys want.“ But since every person is different, no one way can ALWAYS be the one way that works. And after my conversation with the mutual friend, I realized that it actually worked really well when I went against what all the books say.

Even “H”, our buddy from down under, has confirmed that in his opinion, it’s perfectly fine for a girl to be the one to ask the guy out.

I must admit that I’ve also been reveling a bit in being called “ballsy” since that’s one word that I would probably never choose to use as a label for myself. However, there is a little ballsy bit of my personality that peeks out every now and again. And I must say, it feels REALLY good to have my ballsy-ness recognized and appreciated.

This has also made me realize that if I had done what every single dating book says, I would never have asked him out.

I would not have had an April date.

I would owe $10 to the pot for missing a month.

And worst of all, it’s entirely possible that I never would have gotten to go out with Mr. April on an actual date and I would never have gotten to know how really fantastic he is.

And in my mind, that would have been truly unfortunate.

Which now begs the question…what else have all those dating books gotten wrong?