S: The End and Everything After

The year of dating has ended, but I’m not sure I can say I completed the challenge. I only went on 5 of the 12 required dates. But it feels like I completed an entirely different challenge. I fell in love twice.

Me. The Spinster. I fell in love twice in one year. Something I wasn’t sure I was ever capable of doing again.

I suppose I get a little credit for that.

When I started this challenge a year ago, I had absolutely no interest in finding someone. I was happy to be on my own and had decided that I just wasn’t one of those people who was destined to end up with a “the one”. This didn’t bother me, it was just a fact of life.

I was doing the challenge for Jane. And for something to blog about. I had no dreams of finding a mate. I didn't even think I'd find someone who would make me want to drop out of the challenge to date for a while. I thought I would go on 12 rather unremarkable dates, if I could manage to get anyone interested enough to go out with me, and at least have a year of practicing my awkward conversation skills. I thought I'd come away with some blog material and a few amusing date stories.

Never would you have been able to make me believe I would end up falling in love…twice, let alone finding someone I can’t wait to permanently commit myself to.

I knew that at the end of the year of dates, I would not want to keep going on dates. I did not know that it would be because I had found someone who makes dating a thing of the past for me.

Overall, I’d say the challenge was a valuable experience. Yes, I got my heart broken this year because of this challenge, but that’s not the point. I had the guts to put it out there to get broken. And then I survived it. I survived it in such a big way that 1. I now feel quite sorry for the moron who broke it and 2. Having fallen in love when I thought I couldn't, I felt strong enough to get back to the challenge right away and leave myself open to fall in love again.

And this time with someone who knows himself and what he wants. Someone who knew right away that he wasn’t going to let me go. Someone who is patient enough to give me space and let the relationship progress at my pace. Someone who believes I'm worth it and who I believe is worth it. Someone who loves me because of who I am, not in spite of who I am. Someone who makes me extremely happy and who is extremely happy with me. Someone who fits me quite perfectly.

We were set up by a friend, so maybe we would have met and gone out eventually. But without the challenge, I would not have started dating again so soon after getting my heart broken. I would not have let my friend fix me up with someone just going through a divorce. I would not have tried so hard to get us on that first date.

This means we could have missed each other. We definitely would have wasted a lot of time not being together. Maybe he would even have started seeing someone else and the timing would never have worked out.

So a huge “thank you” to Jane for dragging me into this. I may have missed some heartache without it, but I would have also missed something amazing that I thought I would never find.

What I learned from this challenge is that I am one of those people who gets to have a “the one”. And that people are right about finding someone and just knowing. That it can be simple and obvious and not feel like an uphill climb or an obligation.

I know that if you stay true to yourself while being open to love, you can suddenly find yourself very very happy.