J: 2010-CHECK!

Wow…how this year flew by! It seems like just yesterday I was tentatively tiptoeing into this challenge. I really didn’t have very much hope, and certainly didn’t expect to be nearly as successful as I was.

But is “successful” the right word? I’m not sure.

Yes, I accomplished what I set out to do. Every single month, I went on at least one date with someone new. Some months I even went out with more than one guy.

I stepped out of my comfort zone. I became comfortable with the dating process. I now know how to respond when a guy buys me a drink. I’ve tried internet dating and 8 minute dating and blind dating. I’ve asked guys out, myself. I’ve learned the perfect way to respond to an awkward text. I’ve learned how to reject (and be rejected!) I’ve learned not to let my heart get too involved too quickly and I’ve learned (the hard way) why it’s so important to keep it guarded. I’ve dated more guys in this one year then in all of my previous years of dating combined and have had more experiences than I ever expected.

So, if you judge success by those measures, yes, I was 100% successful.

But what I really, really, in my heart of heart wanted from this year was to NOT be successful. I wanted to meet someone who wiped this challenge from my mind, completely.

I wanted to be Elle…who met someone early on and is still in love with that same man, today.

I wanted to be Sheila…who let her thick walls down, got hurt…but bounced back and ended up meeting her Mr. Right.

Towards the end of the year, I met someone special too, yes. He filled me with hope and made me believe that I could kiss this challenge good-bye as well. That didn't happen. But through the experience, I remembered what it was like to be in a relationship. I realized how much I truly want that in my life…despite the fact that it isn’t always rainbows and roses.

Most importantly, however, I learned that I’m not willing to settle. I wouldn’t accept a one-sided relationship. What I was getting wasn’t good enough and I deserved so much more. In spite of what my heart wanted, I had the self-respect to get out of the relationship and to take a chance, heading out alone (again) in search of something better…something more real…something that will make all these years of waiting worthwhile.

And that, itself, is something to be proud of.

So, the big question is...will I keep up this challenge into the next year?

Probably not.

At least, not with a quota.

This year, I found myself accepting quantity instead of quality, over and over. I went out with guys that were convenient verses guys that I was truly interested in getting to know....always hoping that maybe I’d be pleasantly surprised. Usually, I wasn’t.

So, for me, 2011 will be about dating guys that I truly want to date instead of focusing on sticking to a timeline & constantly checking the calendar.

And after this year of experimenting, challenging myself and stepping out on that limb, I can go into 2011 with confidence and a better understanding of who I am and what I truly want and need out of a relationship.

A huge "Thank you" is due to my femmebuds; Elle & Sheila. Without you, I might not have been brave enough to fully step out into this challenge or to stick with it for an entire year (let alone write about it for the world to read!) I’ve grown closer to each of you through this year and through this challenge. And if nothing more was accomplished, the growth of our friendship has made it worth the journey.

Thanks to you, readers, for travelling with me on this journey. It wouldn’t have been the same without all of your comments and advice.

It’s been a crazy year, full of fun, stress, excitement, heartache and joy, laugher and tears, longing and surprises, elation and disappointment ...and (if I’m telling the whole truth) I’m SO relieved that it’s over!

On to 2011! Maybe this will be the year “he” shows up.

Maybe not.

If nothing else, 2010 and this challenge has proven that this single gal will be fine either way.